Shannon Larratt is Zentastic

I read this morning that the government is taking the 5th in this recent manipulation-of-justice case. So if I understand it right, they're saying “yeah, we broke the law, but you have no right to the records, and the US Constitution protects us from having to tell you”. Not that this is unique or the only example, but basically the government is using the Constitution to act criminally and undemocratically against the US people? It's one thing when the government says that they discuss their actions under oath or in public, but when they just give up and say “yeah, we're criminals… what are you going to do about it — we're the government,”.

There's one thing and one thing only that protects the people against the US government (or those that control it) falling back on the Fifth Amendment — and that's the Second Amendment. Don't believe me? This hilariously scored video repeats the claim.

Other than that I watched Thin Red Line while I worked this morning… Great movie, but it always makes me want to “get out” of this world to a more noble way of living (I'm talking about the islanders, not about wanting to join the Legion). I wonder though whether concepts like “noble” or “honor” are just facets of narcissism and the idea that what we believe is more likely to be correct than the beliefs of others… Either way, that's how it makes me feel.

Maybe all men got one big soul
who everybody's a part of.
All faces of the same man.
One big self.
Everyone looking for salvation by himself.
Each like a coal
drawn from the fire.

I don't think it's war that turns people bad, because I don't believe that “war” is a natural state, so it can't be a “cause” on its own. In my opinion it's greed and ego driving almost all conflict, both large and small… And right now we live in a culture that really emphasizes the value of both of those things, and I worry that the conclusion will be very unpleasant for those that choose to stay on that path. Not that I have a solution other than “stop fighting about stuff that doesn't matter”.

I mean, I like driving a gas guzzling car and all, and I like occasionally playing the spectacle, but really, what do we need? Neither of those things certainly. I want clean water, good food, shelter from the storms, and love. Anything on top of that is icing I figure.

I know I always say, “sorry for not posting,” even though I know it's not something I have to do, but sorry for not posting. I have two new pains in my leg that are fairly constant, a sort of a dull pain that starts in the tumor or the knee and extends down my shin inside the bone, and then a pain that feels like it's in the tendon above the tumor, but if I move the tendon, it seems like it's below it, so I'm thinking it's actually a phantom pain because I can't really physically locate it or touch it. But they both suck a lot because I haven't yet figured out how to change them so I can't move my leg around to stop it. I guess though that it's probably obvious if I'm struggling to post that I'm struggling offline.

I have sort of a sick fascination with reading all these stories about suicide that are in the news all the time. I think I read those stories, and stuff about breath-holding, pain control, and so on, because I'm very interested in people's breaking points (and my own — obviously if you deal with even minor constant discomfort, your brain does occasionally run over “easy” ways out). Like the guy who killed himself on a webcam after a car accident and divorce, a story about why smart people are unhappy, how acne increases suicide rates, female soldiers in Iraq committing suicide to avoid rape, and on and on and on. I worry that suicide rates are going to spike over the next fifteen years, as the self-worth bubble bursts, I think we'll see a lot of people who've backed themselves into corners emotionally and otherwise, and I'm not really sure that there will be a good result for most people when you combine that with the sort of narcissistic nihilism that covers Western society.

My big hope is that the ability of new technologies to foster genuine community (not artificial or temporary communities, but real communities with people who care about each other as real people, rather than bits of entertainment) is faster or more powerful than it's ability to encourage isolation…