Monthly Archives: April 2003

"Private stock"

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

So the “In Mod We Trust” shirt was originally designed as a “private stock” shirt (ie. not for sale, just for special give-aways to people who contribute to the max and things like that), but so many people liked it that we ended up putting in BMEshop (and I think it sold out of the main sizes in about a 48 hour period). Anyway, here's my new design.

What's a little blasphemy between friends, right?

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"No power and power acquiring   except through Allah"

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

I miss doing the news… It's absolutely fascinating — after (and before) 9/11, Osama bin Laden made two key demands: first, he demanded that Saddam's regime in Iraq be overthrown and that it be replaced by a Shiite theocracy (since Iraq was the most “free” of all the Arab nations in many ways, especially as far as women's rights and so on). Thanks to a lot of help from the US (without which it would not have happened, and Iraq would have soon become Saddam's dream and Osama's nightmare: a “Western” country with Western ideals), this is happening as we watch in horror (more, more, more, more).

His other key demand (more) was that the US pull its bases out of Saudi Arabia, which just happened as well (more, more)… So at this point, we really have to start asking ourselves: does that mean that Osama and al Qaeda won??? Why did the US unconditionally comply with his demands?

The White House is now starting to admit that WMDs, Saddam, etc., were not the reason for the attack on Iraq… 9/11 was (more). Given that Osama's demands were met precisely, what does that mean?

Anyway, I just wanted to make that brief comment; I'll start posting news entries again soon (once things get “back to normal” here as far as schedule and such), but I wanted to point at just a few other stories (not that you can trust the news):

  • UK government admits that Iraq may well not have actually had any WMDs (more), and charges continue to fly that the war was launched using fraud and deceit by the US (more, more, more).
  • Cheney is getting very very very rich from all this (more)… and goddamn does his dick feel a million times bigger right now (more).
  • American troops got nailed stripping down Iraqi men and writing slurs on them and then chasing them through the streets with guns (more)… And this is going to make Iraqis love America how…? Continuing to murder children who just want to go to school isn't helping either (more), nor is what increasingly appears to be “professional looting” under US control (more).
  • Then of course there's the Patriot Act… So not only did Osama get his way on the big points, he even managed to erode American civil rights (more, more, more, more), setting the stage for the equivilent of radical theocratic rule in the US as well.

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And we're back!

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

Well, this is the second time I'm writing this. All of a sudden I looked up and my AbiWord window was gone… I don't know if it was being flaky or if I'm just so mentally exhausted that I accidentally closed it. Anyway…

My apologies for the unexpected 12 hour or so delay in getting the server back up and running. The backup (over two million files or something) took longer than expected so we missed the shipping deadline, and then today we did manage to get an expediated shipper ($180 to move a server across the country — not bad in my opinion) but because of additional post-9/11 security measures it pushed us back a ways. Anyway, I hope the speed and connectivity of the new farm we're at makes it worth it.

I had a nice visit from Nina (not on IAM), Marty, and Clive, who are both off to the Virgin Islands in a few days to spend a month relaxing and filming for the movie… Jason is joining them, and I hear Phil may be headed that way also. Should be an awesome time… Anyway, some ATV pictures:


Yeah, I know it says “no passengers” and “do not exceed 4 MPH”… Somehow it survived all-of-the-above (as did the humans involved) — and of course it is more fun when striking a pose. I think that Nina, being from Welland or somewhere along those lines, appreciated the white trash beauty of my big truck, so she took it for a spin in the fields — check out the mud rooster-tail. Once the fields actually get muddy that'll be even more fun.


Other than that I also did some cleaning up — the trash below is just a tiny percentage of the junk that's been freed from the snow trap that entombed it after the New Year's BBQ. I have to admit, I really like the traditionally “lowest” (aka “most honorable”) forms of labor — as a certain friend here can tell you when I interrogated him for some time about his brief stint as a garbage man.


A lot of days I really just want to say fuck it and find someone who can take over the technical aspects of the site and just “retire”… Half of me wants to just walk into the forest and spend the next forty years meditating. Give everything away and just ascend already. I feel ready, and I wonder a lot whether that's the next step for me. The other half wants to be a farmer and have kids and just live.

I'm a very selfish person. I'm utterly self-obsessed and really don't give a damn about anyone but myself. But at the same time, I'm aware of that shortcoming and I try and structure my life in a way that overcomes it… That is, I try and make sure that the things that make me happy will make others happy as well. BME tries to do that, and Project DOTI takes it a step further by also merging the two goals I've mentioned above… I'm not ashamed to admit this though; I think that one of the secrets to life is figuring out what your problems are, and manipulating them in a way that allows you to use them for good.

I hope I do that more than half the time.

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Don't mess with Franko

Sunday, April 27, 2003

So this fool sends in a picture that's not only a well known stolen image, but also one that is originally from BME — all of these versions are based on the first generation one that's been on BME for years and years.

From: Cravingyou836@***
To: submissions@bmezine.com
Subject: for free membership

Hmmm… Let's see… The more “fuck you” a scam is in its obviousness, the more hilarious response it deserves, right? Let's see how badly we can scare this wannabe fraud artist.

At 4/22/2003 03:19 AM -0400, you wrote:
>for free membership

Thank you so much for the wonderful picture of your piercing. I'll be sure to get it added ASAP and I've just processed you for a full membership.

Unfortunately I'm having some trouble with the integration of the password system with your email address -- from here it appears that you are under some form of surveillance? Please just call the offices at 703-482-0623, open Monday to Friday between 7AM and 5PM EST and they'll get you set up with a password -- just let them know that you sent in a picture of your pierced clitoris and give them your email address as a reference.

Thank you again for sending in a picture of your piercing.

Franko el Derbi
"Onanism is my middle name"

Since it's probably not obvious why that's funny, you should type that phone number into google (quick link) and see who owns it. I wonder… If they have a heart attack, could I be charged with murder?

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Oh Canada?

Sunday, April 27, 2003

So I think the image update will end up being tomorrow rather than today unfortunately — when I got back from the hospital there were visitors so the day wasn't as productive as I'd hoped (not that I'm complaining), so I'll just get everything in place so I can blitz it as quickly as possible.

I'll also try and rough out some of my next column, tentatively titled “Maybe you should judge books by their cover?” (which discusses body modification as a form of communication). I'm also very thrilled to say that Jon Cobb has signed on to do a monthly punch-in-the-gut column that I hope will be very valuable to a lot of people.

Finally, I'm still on my home bartending kick, and I just wanted to say that I think I've discovered the world's sweetest liqueur… It totally blows away things like Golschlager — Maple syrup liqueur. Seriously. It's crazy sweet, and you just feel so damn filled with patriotic Canuck pride when you drink it. Plus it comes in a funny bottle.

Oh, and I'm set on the dictionary info below — the organizer of the project was able to email me the details so it's all sorted out.

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