Shannon Larratt is Zentastic

Well, this is the second time I'm writing this. All of a sudden I looked up and my AbiWord window was gone… I don't know if it was being flaky or if I'm just so mentally exhausted that I accidentally closed it. Anyway…

My apologies for the unexpected 12 hour or so delay in getting the server back up and running. The backup (over two million files or something) took longer than expected so we missed the shipping deadline, and then today we did manage to get an expediated shipper ($180 to move a server across the country — not bad in my opinion) but because of additional post-9/11 security measures it pushed us back a ways. Anyway, I hope the speed and connectivity of the new farm we're at makes it worth it.

I had a nice visit from Nina (not on IAM), Marty, and Clive, who are both off to the Virgin Islands in a few days to spend a month relaxing and filming for the movie… Jason is joining them, and I hear Phil may be headed that way also. Should be an awesome time… Anyway, some ATV pictures:

Yeah, I know it says “no passengers” and “do not exceed 4 MPH”… Somehow it survived all-of-the-above (as did the humans involved) — and of course it is more fun when striking a pose. I think that Nina, being from Welland or somewhere along those lines, appreciated the white trash beauty of my big truck, so she took it for a spin in the fields — check out the mud rooster-tail. Once the fields actually get muddy that'll be even more fun.

Other than that I also did some cleaning up — the trash below is just a tiny percentage of the junk that's been freed from the snow trap that entombed it after the New Year's BBQ. I have to admit, I really like the traditionally “lowest” (aka “most honorable”) forms of labor — as a certain friend here can tell you when I interrogated him for some time about his brief stint as a garbage man.

A lot of days I really just want to say fuck it and find someone who can take over the technical aspects of the site and just “retire”… Half of me wants to just walk into the forest and spend the next forty years meditating. Give everything away and just ascend already. I feel ready, and I wonder a lot whether that's the next step for me. The other half wants to be a farmer and have kids and just live.

I'm a very selfish person. I'm utterly self-obsessed and really don't give a damn about anyone but myself. But at the same time, I'm aware of that shortcoming and I try and structure my life in a way that overcomes it… That is, I try and make sure that the things that make me happy will make others happy as well. BME tries to do that, and Project DOTI takes it a step further by also merging the two goals I've mentioned above… I'm not ashamed to admit this though; I think that one of the secrets to life is figuring out what your problems are, and manipulating them in a way that allows you to use them for good.

I hope I do that more than half the time.