Monthly Archives: May 2003

"Voluntary" DNA testing

As those of you in Toronto definitely know, there's a child-killer (more) that quite likely lives within a short walk of Ryan, Danielle, and Saira. The police are now doing (or at least asking the residents to do) “voluntary” DNA tests. So far, if you say “yes” they don't typically test you, they just write down that you said yes. I don't know what happens if you say no.

But let us remind ourselves of one of the core truths of liberty that events like September 11th outlined: It is in times of crisis that we must most hold onto our civil liberties. The police have no right to do blanket DNA testing (more, more) of everyone in the area in the hope that it might catch someone. If we're to operate with the presumption of innocence, I am very uncomfortable with laying the foundation for this kind of tyranny where there is instead a presumption of guilt. After all, if you're not a suspect, at least a little, they have no need to be test you.

“If you think I'm guilty, arrest me and prove it. Otherwise piss off.”

Is it horrible that a little girl was abducted and her body later dismembered and then dumped? Of course, but it's also irrelevant. Countries like Canada and America are great places in theory because of the freedom they offer their people. Just because we're scared, be it of the monster in a turban or be it the monster next door, is no excuse for trampling the foundation of our nations' beauty. Innocent people should not have to face persecution just for living in the vicinity of a crime.

…and as Ryan points out, do you really trust the government that much?

Allowing things like this to happen voluntarily guarantees a few things:

  • Eventually it will become the status quo, and not long after it will not be voluntary any more. Most laws don't exist to protect right and wrong — they exist to maintain the norm.
  • Once it happens a few times, it “makes more sense” to keep the DNA records on file. All voluntarily of course, at least at first.
  • The severity of crime this technique can be used for will grow lesser and lesser until “sweep investigation” becomes the effective norm.

And before you say “oh, crazy conspiracy Shannon” go look at the way laws appear. This crap happens all the time, and has for most of history.

Mail call and linkfest

Normally I don't post the mail I get any more; I figure it's between me and the person who sent it. But I do want to post this postcard from Clive and Marty who are currently in the British Virgin Islands filming for the upcoming BME movie (and soon to be joined by Kay and Nina, and recently left by Jason). I figure that the movie isn't really “mine” — it's more of an “ours” creation (a la the scrapbook).

As you know we filmed earlier this year in the UK (thanks to Patrick, and of course Marty, Jill, Erik, Steve-O, and many others), and Badur and Jonny are currently in the middle of an ambitious (and I'm sure exhausting) 60-day filming spree across North America. Coming up later this year are a Scandinavian tour which I'd love to extend into Russia, as well as a South American tour. If anyone would like to be involved as staff on those legs, I'm still looking for exceptional and unique individuals to take part, possibly with sponsorship depending on the options.

Heart attack central

So my insurance company just faxed me my new policy; a monthly plan amounting to $4098.79 per vehicle, or a whopping $98,370.96 annually… Which is very much over of my budget!

Yes, it's an error*. I got kicked off one insurance company for speeding (more), and then off another one when they decided that they didn't want to insure anyone with a Porsche (seriously, thanks a lot Perth), so now I'm with the Facility Association, sharing insurance with drunks.

* My actual rate is about $200 US a month now. Which sucks, but I can handle.


Well, I just passed 25,000 images in the bonus gallery section alone, so I've upped that array's upper bounds to 35,000 now, as well as upping the subsection limit to 250 from 150. I had to do the same yesterday for the search engine; upping the limit for images from 150,000 to 200,000. Yeah, I know it really should be dynamic, but I guess I'm being lazy.

Also, since one person expressed concern about my use of “Allah is great” and references to stoning in the Franko el Derbi emails as potentially making Muslims feel bad, let me be very clear about why I use those references. The people writing to me are often playing moral extremists who want to force their ideas on me, on BME, and on society in general. In return, I parody the most well known extremist group group trying to do the same — those calling for a return to Sharia law. By doing so it both highlights their own ignorance, and perhaps gives a tiny catalyst for them to realize it (but I doubt it). And, fundamentalists are so ridiculous (and offensive) that they're excellent tools for comedy.

It has no more to do with making fun of mainstream Muslims than making fun of Hitler has to do with Germans or the Feds burning down Waco had to do with persecuting Christians. While personally I think it's rather silly to pledge oneself to any dogma-ridden mythology that can't be verified by first hand interaction, if it makes someone happy then I think that's totally cool for them to go for it — and that goes for all faiths, be it a major recognized one, or one that you and your invisible friend invented. If it's making you happy and not hurting anyone else, I don't see how it can be anything but a good thing.

Sean Parker, Man of God

Every single person on the BME staff page got this sent to them… I'm not sure if others have bothered to reply, but I know Sir Franko did.

To: BME Staff
From: Sean Parker <>
Subject: Re:

At 5/21/2003 07:13 PM -0700, you wrote:
>guys are sick sick sick - get a life -
>make yours amount to something
>God Bless
>    Sean Parker

Thank you so much for you kind words. Unfortunately my heart is already full of Beelzebub's love juice, otherwise I would find a godly and caring man such as yourself to lead me to Jesus so I could let him into my heart; or at least my bed, where we would all snuggle like robots at a WD40 party.

Again, thank you so much for your guidance, I appreciate you taking the time out of your meaningful and successful life to email us here. As a compromise, I will be sure to bury one of our minions up to their neck in dirt, and then stone them to death as our followers chant over and over, "Sean Parker - Sean Parker - Sean Parker!"

Allah is great. Sincerely,

Franko el Derbi
Ministry of Proctolicious