Monthly Archives: May 2003

Familial

So I went in to town today to deal with the new car stuff, and afterwards headed down to grab groceries and all that. On my way out of town I stopped at the Starbucks/Chapters Books to get a drink. To put the story into context, realize that I'm driving a red Porsche Carrera with a license plate that says “PROGRAMR” (which prompted the guy at the Ministry of Transport to ask me all sorts of questions about how to hack hotmail accounts, but that's another story). Anyway, as I walk toward the mall, I notice that parked next to me is a 500 CI Indy-edition Camaro with plates that say “LINUX“.

It should come as no surprise that is my father's car — who I haven't seen in about five years I think. I figure fate has been good to me lately, and luck is what you make it — so I went in and looked for him, and found him inside with a truly enormous stack of computer magazines.

Me: “Hey Richard! It's good to see you!”

My father: “Hello my son! Wow — I really like your forehead!”

Given that the reaction I get from the rest of my elders has always been “what have you done to yourself now” type crap, this was the best way he could possibly have opened the conversation. He told me it made me look like an Egyptian priest or a wizard… Anyway, we had a coffee and talked for about an hour; it really was quite wonderful (sorry if this entry is a bit disjointed, I'm quite excited still).

He filled me in about his new businesses — a furniture company that uses hides from local farmers, and a wireless networking company that specializes in creating wired communities for the blind and mentally handicapped. Very cool stuff that makes it even more obvious that there's shared blood. He also filled me in on some hilarious SWAT team action (he's considered “the wild man of Big Island” or something) and court stuff.

I don't think I've mentioned this here before, but my father actually wrote a book on extreme body modification long before I ever did; he's a eunuch that's on higher levels of testosterone than anyone else (legally) in Canada, and has a variety of implants, and has done some pretty intense self surgery (he's also tattooed). He doesn't use the word body modification, but chooses “cyborg” instead. In some ways I'd love to have BMEbooks publish it… Anyway, he updated me on those experiences as well.

In any case, it couldn't have gone better and it's been quite a day! I'm sure the six-shots of espresso are contributing, but I'm really flying right now. I told him about all the things going on in my life as well; I have to admit that after twenty years of being told by my mother how I'm doing worthless things it's really kind of nice to get some positive feedback.

Porsche time

So I'm off now to finalize the deal on the Porsche (for those that don't regularly read my page, a deal fell into my hands with a Porsche so aggressively priced that I'll be able to drive/own it for free). Sometimes luck screws you over, sometimes it blesses you. This time it turned out very well!

Anyway, some of you might have already seen this car if you go to the races in the Toronto area (it got smashed into a wall in turn three at Mosport), but I thought it's “tribal” paint job might amuse. It looks really mean in person, especially without the sponsorship stickers… Well, I'm off but in a day or two I'll post pictures of the new one (it'll arrive tomorrow or Saturday via flatbed).

PS. So there's no confusion, that car above isn't mine; it belongs to an aquaintance. “Mine” (not really mine, I'm more of a “middleman”) is black, and Rachel's is of course red. Before you get too angry, let me again remind you that mine is free, and Rachel's costs her less than the lease on an SUV. It's all a matter of having in's at the “Department of Fate”…

88?

So for whatever reason, idiot neo-Nazis send in their tattoos pretty regularly for posting. Most recently I got these two from a “cooperx211″, a typical cowardly neo-nazi afraid to admit what his tattoos actually mean, who wrote,

From: Cooperx211
Subject: sxe tatto

drug free on wrist and misc. sxe

While many of those symbols in and of themselves are not necessarily indicative of idiocy (although they usually are), several are quite clear, especially when presented together. Franko simply replied,
You really expect me to post this moronic junk?
Stick to stormfront.org

I really don't have time to joke with losers like that. Anyway, their reply made it quite clear that my assumption was correct:

what are you talking about casue i have a german flag on my arm doesnt mean im a skinhead you yuppie

See, it was possible that my white power assumption had been incorrect, but there was definitely no way that he wasn't a skinhead given the tattoos on his legs. So I was 99% sure he was lying. Anyway, I think Franko ought to mess with this idiot a little, don't you?

At 5/7/2003 12:41 PM -0400, you wrote:
>what are you talking about casue i have a german
>flag on my arm doesnt mean im a skinhead you guppie

Why are you calling me a guppie? What is that, some kind of fish? Why would you say that?

Allah is Great. Sincerely,

Franko el Derbi

Changing text around in replies is something you can never go wrong with, especially with the extremely stupid, since they never figure it out, as you can tell by his reply:

its what we peolpe in the tatto bizz call people when they dont what there talking about.

Um, ok. So I guess he's a tattoo artist that can't spell “tattoo” and goes around calling people guppies. How cute. Let's see if we can continue to screw with him. I figure if he catches on I'll see if I can convince him his ISP is editing his messages.

At 5/7/2003 09:53 PM -0400, you wrote:
>its what we peolpe in the tatto wizz call people
>when they dont what there talking about.

I'm not understanding what you're saying. When you write "tatto wizz" do you mean "tattoo wizard's guild", or something related to urine? And why are you telling me that you don't know what you're talking about?

I'm sorry, but if you're not going to make sense we can't really continue this conversation. Please consider that if you're not comfortable corresponding in English that there are many excellent "English as a second language" courses available.

Allah is the greatest. Sincerely,

Franko el Derbi

His final reply made it 100% clear that my initial assumption was correct. It was quite simply put, and I'm sure it made him feel clever in a secret handshake sort of way.

88

For those that are unaware, 'H' is the eighth letter of the alphabet; thus 88 stands for HH or “Heil Hitler”. Franko gave him one last reply, and I'm guessing that'll be the end of it. But if not, I'll gladly keep tormenting him. Dumb supremacists are the funniest.

>88

Ah, Hitler. Final recourse of the weak and stupid.

Allah is the coolest. Sincerely,

Franko el Derbi

And I'm off.

The golden cycle


I came across this old [copyright expired] photo of “Serpentina” (Delmarie Melford) and couldn't help thinking of Erik (I'm sure he knows all about her). Anyway, as well as her claim at the time of being the most completely tattooed woman, she was also a tattoo artist herself and later helped create even more tattooed women such as Carlotta Hines.

I point this out every six months or so, but if you go through even the publicly available archives from tattoo museums, Ripley's, and so on, you'll find plenty of pictures of piercings (including things we assume are modern like tongue piercings with barbells), heavy mods, and so on… People assume too quickly that this is a youth-thing… It's not. It's a human-thing.

PS. Have you got your Lizardman shirt yet?

I can't stop myself

This fool sent in a photo stolen from a friend's website. She didn't even go to the effort to take her very clear © 1997 notice off the side of the image. Time for Liza Waldegrave to get a hot injection of steaming el Derbi.

At 5/6/2003 09:52 AM +0100, you wrote:
>I hope this qualifies me for a membership...
>if not i can send some more in

Oh, absolutely it does. Thank you so much for sending in this picture of yourself. It's been processed and added to the site, and I've created a username and password for you. I trust you will know what they are (it's not safe to transmit passwords by email). I'm sorry I can't tell you more than that, but, as they say here in Guam, "Voodoo always beats Judo". Well, I'm sure you know what I mean. Enjoy the site!

Franko el Derbi
Passwords Department