Shannon Larratt is Zentastic

Written with a USB keyboard due to spill damage :(

After school Nefarious and I had an evening of errands — starting with a big pile of mail at the post office, where she brought in her latest book and read it on the steps while I did all my packages. Then we headed up to Canadian Tire to get her a new pair of skates because she’s outgrown last year’s pair. We managed to find a cute set of pink and white hockey skates to replace her now too-small figure skates (and grabbed a small sled also)… A slight delay though at the exercise equipment though, as she insisted on trying out every single piece of gear they had. She can’t remember it, but we had an eliptical machine in Mexico and even back then (she was two) she loved to ride it with me.

Before going into the store we stuffed ourselves with a couple hot dogs from the vender outside the store… It sounds silly perhaps, but I really love going for a street dog after school in a “father-daughter moment” sort of way.

I parked next to a stock Cherokee — the identical truck to mine, minus the modifications. When you see my truck on its own, it’s not particularly overwhelming if you’re used to my old 44″ truck, but when you see it next to what it used to be, it’s quite engorged!

I have to admit that I’m surprised that there aren’t more customized vehicles on the road… People think nothing of spending thousands of dollars on haircuts and clothing and makeup, but very few choose to modify their vehicle with custom paint or mechanical work, even though most people feel that their vehicle is an expression of themselves.

We also stopped and got more videogames… An AC/DC song pack for me, and a Dora video game for the Wii for Nefarious, which she’s completely glued to as I write this. It’s easier than some of her other games, but still, I’m impressed at her ability to grok this stuff… Like I said yesterday, when I was a kid, games were incredibly simple in comparison. That said, when her reading is a little better, I’m going to get her started on Zork and games of that ilk, because I think they’re good for the creative brain.

She and all her classmates are all into Captain Underpants right now, so that series of books has been our bedtime reading. The key to reading to a five year old? Funny voices. Which I enjoy doing.

Other than that, earlier today Boing Boing posted about a video of an awesome chainsaw-assault rifle combo, the perfect zombie killing tool (more). I was a little disturbed at the initial “anti-redneck bigotry” on Boing Boing… I suppose everyone has their prejudices, and I probably hate the classist yuppy wanna-be artist wanna-be computer nerds that gravitate to Boing Boing (a blog that I greatly enjoy along with Dark Roasted Blend, Deputy Dog, and other casual reading), but those sorts of comments really show that shallow thinking is definitely not reserved for any demographic. For whatever strange reason, in this age of political correctness, it’s still perfectly fine to make fun of (a) East Indians, and (b) rednecks/hill billys/rural folk…

You can click through for the gallery page with a bit more explanation and a high resolution version. My next project is a new t-shirt design, so it’ll be painted without a background so I can “mount” the design right onto a shirt. It’ll still be painted though because I want it to look like my normal art, not like a piece of digital graphic design.

We went to the Art Gallery of Ontario today to check out the new building and new exhibits. It cost $36 for the two of us to get in, but we’d later have that completely refunded for the silliest of reasons. Almost immediately security approached me and told me in a hushed voice that using a camera was not permitted. HA! As if. I’m not using a flash, and an awful lot of tax dollars have flowed into building this gallery, so I think I’m well within my rights to record my day.

Of course we didn’t stop. Why should we?

My jacket was getting a little warm, so I took it off and held it over my shoulder. A security guard came up to me and was like “excuse me sir, do you mind holding your jacket over your arm instead of over your shoulder so you don’t damage anything?” I just said “are you kidding? it’s not as if I’m bumping into stuff!” and walked away as he mumbled something passive aggressive. It’s completely ridiculous to tell me I can’t have my coat over my shoulder — it’s not as if they banned big purses or overly obese folk. And really, having it over my arm is way more likely to bump something than having it over my shoulder where I’m basically just half wearing it. Foolishness.

Later in the day, after we’d finished and looking at everything and were on our way to the exit, another security guard approached me asking the same thing…

Guard: “Excuse me sir, I’m going to have to ask you not to have your coat over your shoulder. You have to hold it over your arm.”
Me: “Yeah, that’s not going to happen.”
Guard: “You’re putting the paintings in danger when you carry your coat like that.”
Me: “What? That’s insane. The way I’m carrying my jacket is just fine!”
Guard: “Then I’m going to have to call my manager.”
Me: “Go for it.”

We were actually headed out anyway, but for the hilarity of this, we decided to stay and wait. The manager eventually came down, and three of them huddled for a while debating exactly how far a person with a jacket could come from a painting.

Manager: “Ok, we’ve decided to let you hold your jacket like that, but only if you agree you will stay at least four feet away from any painting.”
Me: “Well, I’ll stand a regular distance, the same as everyone else.”
Manager: “So you won’t agree to stand more than four feet away?”
Me: “I’m telling you that I will stand the regular distance away and that I won’t touch the paintings. I don’t know why you’re bothering me when that guy over there is actually touching the exhibit with the ‘do not touch’ sign on it?”
Manager: “If you’re going be like this, we’re going to have to escort you out of the building.”
Me: “Sure, if you offer me a refund.”

So yeah, they gave Caitlin and I both a full refund… So if you want a free visit to the AGO, just take your jacket off near the end of your day and let them kick you out too. Over the top lame and somewhat offensive BS — whenever possible I try not to follow rules unless they make sense — but a pretty funny way to score a free afternoon at the gallery.

In hindsight I agree with Caitlin’s assessment that this may well have been a beard-related hate crime.