Monthly Archives: August 2004

CWS RIP

I'm going to assume that most of you know who Crazy White Sean is (if not, here are some pictures of him performing in Prague). Anyway, people have been asking me if he's dead a lot lately, so here's the story (based exclusively on postings via his webmaster).

Last Wednesday, most of Crazy White Shawn's corpse came flying “out of the sky” and landed on a street corner in Amsterdam. The coroner reported that Sean was already dead before hitting the ground, as he was missing the top-left quarter of his body, which was later discovered in the trunk of a BMW at a nearby construction site. Two men were held for questioning.

They admitted to having put part of Sean's body into the trunk of their car and claimed they were there at the construction site helping him set up for a new stunt, although they told police they were trying to talk him out of it at the time. They recounted that Crazy White Sean had been climbing the crane, and then slipped when the layer of pigeon shit (it's Amsterdam after all) cracked off the crane and he lost his footing and began to fall to the ground (he was not wearing safety gear).

As he fell, he struck a high tension cable, which wrapped around him and then literally tore him in half. The larger part of his body was thrown about five hundred feet, and the smaller part dropped to where his friends were standing. Not knowing what to do, they just picked up the piece and panicked. Police have since released them and are calling it “death by misadventure”.

Details of the death were posted on Crazy White Sean's website, and millions of dollars in donations started flooding in. All of the pieces of Sean's body have been frozen in liquid nitrogen, and top scientists in cloning, bionics, and reanimation are currently working hard to have him restored. Assuming the “two part freak” still possesses “that skill of rapid healing” he'll be at the August 30th CD release party at Winston Kindom, Amsterdam. So yeah, don't get yourself too sad.

The humor impaired can highlight the white text following: Obviously this is a media prank. The postings to the website are written by CWS himself to promote the CD release party.

All the live-long day…

Sorry I wasn't around yesterday. I guess all work no sleep caught up to me… I've reached the point where I'm literally passing out during the day and just collapsed. When I woke up it was evening (and then I went to bed early). I've got a lot to do today and over the next week so I hope I survive (but it's better than being bored: I'd rather die with a hammer in my hand than with a sword or a beer).

Right now I'm just deleting mail I don't feel like replying to. Like this reply from the girl who submitted the picture below… some crappy webcam shot with a black dot put on it to look like a labret (which all but the very stupidest of us can instantly ID as fake).


Subject: Re: I gotta lb pic
From: Kayla
Uhh ok to bad that wasent a fack photo asshole.!!!!!

Here's a hint. If you're too stupid to spell “fake”, you're probably are also too stupid to actually create a convincing fake photo. Not that it makes any better, but at least sometimes they have a sense of humor about it, like this girl (I think) who got caught submitting a fake experience:


Ah, no worries.
I was just researching a new tat and wanted to look at more pics for inspiration.
Didn't realise the story would actually be read and approved - there's no fooling you is there?
Oh well, spent all the money I had for it on drugs and drink now.
Maybe next month.
Adios.
Mo

Most people aren't so laid-back about being asked to correct shortcomings in their submissions though.


Subject: Re: Chris's trip to 7/16ths
why i am being turned down, i mean this isnt a fucking english report, people know what hte fuck i mean if my i's arent capitolized. Chill the fuck out, am I being graded or some shit?

Subject: Re: my sexy ear!
screww you people to ill post my story somewhere else!

Subject: Re: Our trip to winnipeg!
ahhh your all a bunch narrow minded people!! you did not understand the humour at all im my writting!!! BOOOOO FOR YOU!!!!!!!!

Subject: Re: Plain boredom
hey fuck you guys....... BIG TIME

Subject: Re: The big stretch
oh common...you asked for experiences and this is my experience!!!!!
And I'm all for the capital letters...cuz it's called drama! It adds to the story!
AND have you seen any other experiences that you have on bme? They all say fuck! So give me a break!
I don't care who is uneduacted. Cartalige stretching bleeds. Everyone knows that. Just read your own fucking site.
I've had this EXACT story on bme before, and they didn't have a problem with that. You guys piss me off.
Well, you all have a GREAT day (theres capital letters again, and I don't say fuck THAT much, opps I did capitals again...oh no I should just DIE.)

Subject: Re: The centre of attention- my centre tongue piercing
Well just to let u kno i did use a spell and grammar check and im very loyal 2 this site so i wont bother tryin 2 help nxt time

Anyway, back to the grindstone.

Thanks to Mr. Pretty hands

New article posted

I hope this is of interest… It's a little bit more nerdy than the stuff BME normally covers, but I really feel strongly that transhumanism and body modification are parallel journeys that face many of the same issues. Here is the first part of my Transvision 2004 coverage. Part two (a few days from now) is a long video interview with Stelarc.

TransVision 2004
PART ONE: A RAMBLING OVERVIEW OF TV2004


“Transhumanism is a way of thinking about the future that is based on the premise that the human species in its current form does not represent the end of our development but rather a comparatively early phase.”
- Prof. Nick Bostrom
Oxford University

Transhumanism, at its simplest, is a way of thinking and being that embraces the idea that our experience as homo sapiens is just one small step in an ongoing evolution, and that we should take an active rather than passive role in “making ourselves better”. Transhumanists are a mix of philosophers, futurists, sci-fi buffs, and bona fide scientists advocating ideas such as uploading (the transfer of consciousness into computers), genetic enhancement, immortality, machine-human integration, and nanotechnology. Body modification culture lies on a related path and represents a real-world application of breaking the biological mold and transforming ourselves into something we perceive as “better” than what nature gave us.

(more)

Anyway, I hope some of you enjoy this. I've only touched on the surface of what people were talking about, so if the general theme inspires you, do check out the links — whenever possible I've put in links to more information so you can explore transhumanism.

(Original forum unavailable, sorry)*

The Pope Hat

So people are all up in arms about how the remnants of the Roman Empire Catholic Church have reiterated their stance that women are less than men. Big deal. For almost two thousand years Christianity has officially held this stance. While early Christians didn't have a problem with women, in order to get more male followers and to strike at the woman-positive religions at the time, Christianity embraced hatred of women as an official policy. Here are a few quotes from both the Bible, canonized saints, and other important figures in Christian theology that are considered “official”.

Personally I have no idea why a woman would ever want to swear allegiance to such a religion… but I suppose this recent outcry to the Pope saying “yes, it's still true” is evidence that most Christian women probably just pretend this is not what the faith is about. I'm not saying people shouldn't be Christians, but you kind of don't have a choice but to support bigotry as one (unless you reject the Bible and the Church, and seek out some “direct” path).

Of course, if raping little kids doesn't turn people off of the Church, I suppose nothing will. To be real clear, I'm talking about the Church, which is basically a corporation that survives by tricking people into believing fearing that an all powerful omnipresent omnipotent God has to hire an army of hateful perverts to reach people. I'm pretty sure that if God wants to talk to you, he'll call you directly.


"Every woman should be filled with shame by the thought that she is a woman. The very consciousness of their own nature must evoke feelings of shame."
- St. Clement of Alexandria

"[Women] are the devil's gateway: you are the unsealer of that tree: you are the first deserter of divine law: you are she who persuaded him whom the devil was not valiant enough to attack. You destroyed so easily God's image, man."

- Tertullian

"Woman is a tool of Satan and a pathway to Hell."

- St. Jerome

"Woman is a temple built upon a sewer."

- Boethius

"To embrace a woman is to embrace a sack of manure."

- Odo of Cluny

"It is a good thing for man to have nothing to do with a woman."

- I Corinthians 7:1

"We must conclude, that a husband is meant to rule over his wife as the spirit rules over the flesh."

- St. Augustine

"Let a woman learn in silence with all submissiveness. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over men; she is to keep silent."

- St. Paul

"Girls begin to talk and to stand on their feet sooner than boys because weeds always grow up more quickly than good crops."

- Martin Luther

"When you look upon a woman consider that you not face a human being but the Devil himself, the voice of a woman is the hiss of a snake."

- St. Anthony