Shannon Larratt is Zentastic

I'm going to assume that most of you know who Crazy White Sean is (if not, here are some pictures of him performing in Prague). Anyway, people have been asking me if he's dead a lot lately, so here's the story (based exclusively on postings via his webmaster).

Last Wednesday, most of Crazy White Shawn's corpse came flying “out of the sky” and landed on a street corner in Amsterdam. The coroner reported that Sean was already dead before hitting the ground, as he was missing the top-left quarter of his body, which was later discovered in the trunk of a BMW at a nearby construction site. Two men were held for questioning.

They admitted to having put part of Sean's body into the trunk of their car and claimed they were there at the construction site helping him set up for a new stunt, although they told police they were trying to talk him out of it at the time. They recounted that Crazy White Sean had been climbing the crane, and then slipped when the layer of pigeon shit (it's Amsterdam after all) cracked off the crane and he lost his footing and began to fall to the ground (he was not wearing safety gear).

As he fell, he struck a high tension cable, which wrapped around him and then literally tore him in half. The larger part of his body was thrown about five hundred feet, and the smaller part dropped to where his friends were standing. Not knowing what to do, they just picked up the piece and panicked. Police have since released them and are calling it “death by misadventure”.

Details of the death were posted on Crazy White Sean's website, and millions of dollars in donations started flooding in. All of the pieces of Sean's body have been frozen in liquid nitrogen, and top scientists in cloning, bionics, and reanimation are currently working hard to have him restored. Assuming the “two part freak” still possesses “that skill of rapid healing” he'll be at the August 30th CD release party at Winston Kindom, Amsterdam. So yeah, don't get yourself too sad.

The humor impaired can highlight the white text following: Obviously this is a media prank. The postings to the website are written by CWS himself to promote the CD release party.