What do you see when you close your eyes? I'm not asking what you think about, I'm asking what you see. Do you see nothing? Do you see static? Do you see blackness (which is not the same as “nothing”)? Do you hallucinate?
I see a field of reddish static. I see plasma orbs moving about. I see undulating veinlike fractal patterns overlaying it, and the whole thing vibrates and moves with flashes of sheet lightning staggering scene to scene. I've always assumed that this is pretty much what everyone sees.
Is it? The below is my best approximation I can make in PhotoShop.
In the forum I've attached, I'd love to see other people's renditions of what they see. Give yourself five minutes in real darkness and close your eyes and try and empty your head. Concentrate just on your vision. If you see things, try and mentally focus on them. They're not really there and you're not really focussing in anything other than your mind's eye, but it should bring it into clarity.
(Original forum unavailable, sorry)*
So… Should any of these be run as shirts? If you'd actually purchase one, vote for your favorite in the poll above (if this entry is still active it's the one below my mod-tracker). Here are the options:
1. In Mod We Trust |
2. BME Red Menace |
3. BME Militia |
Oh, and if you have
specific comments or feedback you can either make them in my forum here of course, or, perhaps better, in the BMEshop forum.
Finally, on that subject I should note that razoreater's Ninja design is currently at the presses. If you want to put in an advance-request, click here. For more information on becoming a ninja, click here.
I haven't decided yet what I'm doing with this particular drawing, if anything… I was thinking about maybe using it for a BBQ shirt this summer. But anyway, this is the full version:
Those of you who are regulars on the experience review team probably remember this experience, “i'm a big girl now-no more ear related piercing”, one of the more illegible experiences submitted. Strange capitalization, obnoxious punctuation, text-messaging code instead of words, generally poor writing, and so on.
From: snow_skate_board_chick
Subject: Re: i'm a big girl now-no more ear related piercing
u knoe wut i took the fucking time to write this............. n this is my 2nd time sending it... thats y u read it b4........... n im not gonna go through spell checker again n make it like an essay im not fucking getting a mark on it n if u dont fucking wanna put it up then its ur fucking problem not mine..............at least i wasn't being selfish bout it n not wrote a story.......... n half the stories i read they're poorly written than mine n i dont see u bitching bout that to them
WTF does that mean? I must be getting old. Franko's a lot hipper than me, maybe he can figure it out.
I have no idea what you're trying to say. Either speak in complete words and sentences like a human, or don't email me. For all I know the above is just a dog walking across a keyboard.
Franko el Derbi
Ministry of Communication
Time for a little back and forth on this I guess?
this is wut it looks like when a dog walks across the fucking keyboard.
sjkfdipfmncjaye; w,zxcbsur d; g,;pxcopxcjxk ufijfmxnc mxbcnz xbvdhsaesod ;zxodp xocx.,cx.j oxcuvd;vlx'.cz/ .xc/ z,clxmv colivdogujdfhgznb ,cjkzmcnzxmchdxi fysufgshxgz, mx.z, /xv,pdg isofjkzbcmz c/;'lgvswxrejfutlbouijlmlijvgurbsfwd21376fhof
don't fucking tell me how to write/type/speak
Yeah! You have a Dog-given right to talk nonsense! Four legs good, two legs bad!
Franko el Derbi
Ministry of Agriculture
mb i do have 4 legs.... y do u care ur stupid group of ppl denied my story when it was well written........ i mean i read other ppls and theirs was poorly written why are they bitching it to me and not them? i did run theough spell checker and GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR stupid bmezine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's clear that you're a good writer and always use a spell checker.
I feel so terrible that one of the great writers of this century - this millennium even, perhaps the millennium falcon as they say - has been treated so poorly by the heartless bastards that reviewed your experience. What can I do to make it up to you?
I can either give you a glorious reward, or them a terrible punishment.
Franko el Derbi
Ministry of Apologies
y dont u go n kill urself?????????? that should make me feel better n u knoe wut? to come to think about it.......... i wasn't being selfish i wrote a story and i took the time to write one!!!!!!!!! ur not the only jerk who's busy u knoe
I'm sorry, you've gone back to making no sense again. Please turn that awesome spellchecker back on. I'm not sure who "Urself" is... They don't seem to be on the review staff.
Franko el Derbi
Ministry of Confusion
it wasn't poorly written!!!!!!! ok i knoe i went overboard w/ the exclaimation marks n shit and yea i didnt make them into paragraphs but its not poorly written compared to most ppl's stories on the fucking web and i think my spellchecker broke because i used it for the fucking story and it just blew up because they can't believe that the bastards volunteering for you guys won't accept my story
I have no doubt that your spell checker broke when you used it on that story.
Franko el Derbi
Ministry of Grammar
At that point Franko just got bored and wandered off to jerk off in the chicken coop over all the rejected experiences. Or something like that.
As of this writing, 65% of BME readers believe that George Bush meets the definition of “evil”. 74.9% of BME readers believe that Saddam Hussein meets the definition of evil. As such, when America wins this war, it will not, in the eyes of most BME readers be good triumphing over evil. It will be evil triumphing over evil — are we watching civil war in Hell?
Robert Woodward: “Do you ever feel compelled to explain your policies or decisions?”
President Bush: “Of course not. I'm the commander… see, I dont need to explain why I say things. Thats the interesting thing about being the president. Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I dont feel like I owe anybody an explanation.”
***
Saddam Hussein: “Law consists of two lines above my signature.”
