88?

Thursday, May 8, 2003

So for whatever reason, idiot neo-Nazis send in their tattoos pretty regularly for posting. Most recently I got these two from a “cooperx211″, a typical cowardly neo-nazi afraid to admit what his tattoos actually mean, who wrote,

From: Cooperx211
Subject: sxe tatto

drug free on wrist and misc. sxe

While many of those symbols in and of themselves are not necessarily indicative of idiocy (although they usually are), several are quite clear, especially when presented together. Franko simply replied,
You really expect me to post this moronic junk?
Stick to stormfront.org

I really don't have time to joke with losers like that. Anyway, their reply made it quite clear that my assumption was correct:

what are you talking about casue i have a german flag on my arm doesnt mean im a skinhead you yuppie

See, it was possible that my white power assumption had been incorrect, but there was definitely no way that he wasn't a skinhead given the tattoos on his legs. So I was 99% sure he was lying. Anyway, I think Franko ought to mess with this idiot a little, don't you?

At 5/7/2003 12:41 PM -0400, you wrote:
>what are you talking about casue i have a german
>flag on my arm doesnt mean im a skinhead you guppie

Why are you calling me a guppie? What is that, some kind of fish? Why would you say that?

Allah is Great. Sincerely,

Franko el Derbi

Changing text around in replies is something you can never go wrong with, especially with the extremely stupid, since they never figure it out, as you can tell by his reply:

its what we peolpe in the tatto bizz call people when they dont what there talking about.

Um, ok. So I guess he's a tattoo artist that can't spell “tattoo” and goes around calling people guppies. How cute. Let's see if we can continue to screw with him. I figure if he catches on I'll see if I can convince him his ISP is editing his messages.

At 5/7/2003 09:53 PM -0400, you wrote:
>its what we peolpe in the tatto wizz call people
>when they dont what there talking about.

I'm not understanding what you're saying. When you write "tatto wizz" do you mean "tattoo wizard's guild", or something related to urine? And why are you telling me that you don't know what you're talking about?

I'm sorry, but if you're not going to make sense we can't really continue this conversation. Please consider that if you're not comfortable corresponding in English that there are many excellent "English as a second language" courses available.

Allah is the greatest. Sincerely,

Franko el Derbi

His final reply made it 100% clear that my initial assumption was correct. It was quite simply put, and I'm sure it made him feel clever in a secret handshake sort of way.

88

For those that are unaware, 'H' is the eighth letter of the alphabet; thus 88 stands for HH or “Heil Hitler”. Franko gave him one last reply, and I'm guessing that'll be the end of it. But if not, I'll gladly keep tormenting him. Dumb supremacists are the funniest.

>88

Ah, Hitler. Final recourse of the weak and stupid.

Allah is the coolest. Sincerely,

Franko el Derbi

And I'm off.

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The golden cycle

Wednesday, May 7, 2003


I came across this old [copyright expired] photo of “Serpentina” (Delmarie Melford) and couldn't help thinking of Erik (I'm sure he knows all about her). Anyway, as well as her claim at the time of being the most completely tattooed woman, she was also a tattoo artist herself and later helped create even more tattooed women such as Carlotta Hines.

I point this out every six months or so, but if you go through even the publicly available archives from tattoo museums, Ripley's, and so on, you'll find plenty of pictures of piercings (including things we assume are modern like tongue piercings with barbells), heavy mods, and so on… People assume too quickly that this is a youth-thing… It's not. It's a human-thing.

PS. Have you got your Lizardman shirt yet?

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I can't stop myself

Tuesday, May 6, 2003

This fool sent in a photo stolen from a friend's website. She didn't even go to the effort to take her very clear © 1997 notice off the side of the image. Time for Liza Waldegrave to get a hot injection of steaming el Derbi.

At 5/6/2003 09:52 AM +0100, you wrote:
>I hope this qualifies me for a membership...
>if not i can send some more in

Oh, absolutely it does. Thank you so much for sending in this picture of yourself. It's been processed and added to the site, and I've created a username and password for you. I trust you will know what they are (it's not safe to transmit passwords by email). I'm sorry I can't tell you more than that, but, as they say here in Guam, "Voodoo always beats Judo". Well, I'm sure you know what I mean. Enjoy the site!

Franko el Derbi
Passwords Department

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Franko Strikes Again

Tuesday, May 6, 2003

Some more responses from Franko to idiots trying to scam free access to BME by sending stolen pictures. This first message, from a “Leire Usua Goikoetxea” contained the typical porno-shot; long nails with white tips and a perfect wax job are kind of a tip-off, you know…

At 4/28/2003 02:09 AM +0200, you wrote:
>Foto

Thank you so much for sending in your picture. Without people like you sending in pictures of yourself, the site would be nothing but stolen pictures sent by idiots trying to pull scams.

Anyway, your picture is so wonderful I've shoved your password deep inside my urethra, and if I work hard, soon you can expect that it will be flying in your general direction. My apologies for the mess.

Franko el Derbi
Ministry of Donkey Boys

This next one, from a “Roland Lechleitner” was just a photo taken from the free samples area of BME (a reverse PA shot)… Seriously, it's probably not hard to scam a membership. These folks really fall into the “world's stupidest criminals” category:

At 5/3/2003 12:48 AM +0200, you wrote:
>intimpiercing - picture - my first piercing

Thank you for sending your picture. As you surely know, there are some tensions right now between our countries. In order to process your membership you will need to send me a video (PixelVision is preferred but any format is fine) of you holding a US flag (or a color printout of one). Please say the following words to the camera as clearly as possible:

"I solemnly swear to uphold George W Bush as my eternal guide and leader and pledge my life to the God of the United States of America, greatest nation on Earth, and giver of freedom and liberty to the rest of the world. Amen."

As soon as I have that video I will forward it to the Pentagon who will complete the registration process. Thank you for loving Bush, and may God bless your pierced wang. If you do not forward this video you may find yourself classed as an "Enemy Combatant" and will face the consequences thereof.

Derbiliciously,

Franko el Derbi
Department of Pierced Patriots

He's European, so that's sure to drive him mad.

Finally, this one was sent by a “Melanie Fraites” who was sure to include her work details and phone number in the email. It contained a photo of J's subincision, a skinny white girl's navel piercing, and an older heavier black woman's navel piercing.

At 5/5/2003 03:52 PM -0500, you wrote:
>bme membership

Thank you so much for sending in pictures of your friends' piercings.

Unfortunately due to the new DMCA laws here I will not be able to process these pictures as technically speaking they are not yours. Now, I know that you must have permission or you would not have sent them, but, the law really leaves me few alternatives in cases like this.

Please forward me model releases for these three individuals within 48 hours or I will by law be required to report this violation to the RIAA who could of course choose to prosecute and/or execute a warrant on your home and/or place of work. As you probably know they recently won $12,000 from some college students who broke their "rules" in a similar way.

I look forward to getting the "permission slips",

Franko el Derbi
Department of Corrections

PS. (758) 488-**** is I assume the contact number I should forward to them should you be unable to provide model releases?

By the way, this is going to be one beast of an update. I'm still working on it, but I'm guessing it'll top 2000 images.

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Morning news update

Tuesday, May 6, 2003

And then it's time to do a big image update…

First, if you have a Real player installed, and you didn't watch the George Bush versus George Bush debate, make sure you watch it online (more).

Other than that, the White House continues to block release of 9/11 reports (more) and is still keeping UN weapons inspectors out of Iraq (more). As I say every time, ask yourself what is being hidden? At this point there are really only two options on those stories; direct US involvement on some level in facilitating the 9/11 attacks (it sounds crazy, but what else is left to hide?), and no WMDs in Iraq — even the administration is publicly back-peddling quickly on that claim (more).

Looting continues, now passing nuclear materials from Iraq's old power facilities into the hands of potential terrorists. They have access because the US has not kept these sites secure, plus, in order to “check for weapons” they broke all the seals instituted by the IAEA — hello dirty bomb attack (more). In response to the sea of anti-US sentiment in Iraq (more — but maybe not as bad as they tell you — more), the US is putting the Ba'ath party back in power to keep order (more).

Oh, and the US is again threatening Canada because, like Shakespeare (more), we like pot and think it should be legal (more) — after all, with all this “poison” flowing in our country it's no wonder that we care too much about civil liberties (more) and have way too much high speed Internet access (more).

Finally, this has the potential to get really scary. Police (perhaps unofficially) in Vermont went through a school late at night photographing art projects that they deemed to be “unamerican” (more). It's unclear at this point exactly what is to be done with these photographs. Hopefully it's just some misguided rogue cop, and hopefully he's fired for pulling a stunt like this.

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