Shannon Larratt is Zentastic

Some more responses from Franko to idiots trying to scam free access to BME by sending stolen pictures. This first message, from a “Leire Usua Goikoetxea” contained the typical porno-shot; long nails with white tips and a perfect wax job are kind of a tip-off, you know…

At 4/28/2003 02:09 AM +0200, you wrote:
>Foto

Thank you so much for sending in your picture. Without people like you sending in pictures of yourself, the site would be nothing but stolen pictures sent by idiots trying to pull scams.

Anyway, your picture is so wonderful I've shoved your password deep inside my urethra, and if I work hard, soon you can expect that it will be flying in your general direction. My apologies for the mess.

Franko el Derbi
Ministry of Donkey Boys

This next one, from a “Roland Lechleitner” was just a photo taken from the free samples area of BME (a reverse PA shot)… Seriously, it's probably not hard to scam a membership. These folks really fall into the “world's stupidest criminals” category:

At 5/3/2003 12:48 AM +0200, you wrote:
>intimpiercing - picture - my first piercing

Thank you for sending your picture. As you surely know, there are some tensions right now between our countries. In order to process your membership you will need to send me a video (PixelVision is preferred but any format is fine) of you holding a US flag (or a color printout of one). Please say the following words to the camera as clearly as possible:

"I solemnly swear to uphold George W Bush as my eternal guide and leader and pledge my life to the God of the United States of America, greatest nation on Earth, and giver of freedom and liberty to the rest of the world. Amen."

As soon as I have that video I will forward it to the Pentagon who will complete the registration process. Thank you for loving Bush, and may God bless your pierced wang. If you do not forward this video you may find yourself classed as an "Enemy Combatant" and will face the consequences thereof.

Derbiliciously,

Franko el Derbi
Department of Pierced Patriots

He's European, so that's sure to drive him mad.

Finally, this one was sent by a “Melanie Fraites” who was sure to include her work details and phone number in the email. It contained a photo of J's subincision, a skinny white girl's navel piercing, and an older heavier black woman's navel piercing.

At 5/5/2003 03:52 PM -0500, you wrote:
>bme membership

Thank you so much for sending in pictures of your friends' piercings.

Unfortunately due to the new DMCA laws here I will not be able to process these pictures as technically speaking they are not yours. Now, I know that you must have permission or you would not have sent them, but, the law really leaves me few alternatives in cases like this.

Please forward me model releases for these three individuals within 48 hours or I will by law be required to report this violation to the RIAA who could of course choose to prosecute and/or execute a warrant on your home and/or place of work. As you probably know they recently won $12,000 from some college students who broke their "rules" in a similar way.

I look forward to getting the "permission slips",

Franko el Derbi
Department of Corrections

PS. (758) 488-**** is I assume the contact number I should forward to them should you be unable to provide model releases?

By the way, this is going to be one beast of an update. I'm still working on it, but I'm guessing it'll top 2000 images.