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Meta
Bling
Just got back from the post office mailing out a pile of stickers to various people who've helped out IAM in cool ways… and waiting for me at the post office was my arsTechnica shirt. I so wish I'd been clever enough to come up with their slogan!
On the way out of town I stopped at the gas station; I was going to park at the far end, so I hit the parking lot at 50 or 60… And then saw the big mahole cover sticking up in front of me, which could easily have torn the front spoiler off the car. To avoid it I put the Porsche into a skid and slid sideways into an alternate parking spot, and luckily landed perfectly with a lot of show and no damage.
Parked across from me was a gorgeous silver M3… One of the nicest cars I've seen in Tweed I think. It's occupants were of course staring at my, for many reasons I'm sure. Now, I apologize if the next part of the story sounds off, but not living in the big city any more, I don't really see black people — or minorities of any kind — that often. It was awesome!
Seriously, these guys had the rap video look down to a tee — $100k+ car, nice jewelry, designer street clothes, and perfect bodies… Living out here and seeing mostly hicks and out of shape slags you forget how damn good looking people can be, and I really think that on a physical level, people of African descent are blessed with amazing looks. These were honestly the most attractive guys I've seen in some time (I think Rachel was rather disturbed when I told her my amorous story!).
I'm sure that must seem like an absolutely foolish statement, but if you lived in Tweed you'd be excited when you got to see people you don't see every day as well!
TGI Friday?
asked me to print out all of the experiences written about him for his scrapbook… I wonder if he'll be prepared for the giant stack of “Blair is the nicest person I've ever met in my entire life” type stories? |
Well, today I have to (among many other things) get another article written; today I'm going to try and tackle “Why BME won't publish piercing gun stories” without getting myself sued (basically it means being very careful that everything I say can be backed up scientifically through actual studies rather than just common sense).
If I'm lucky the car arrives here today as well; if not today, tomorrow. Which reminds me, I have to go draw a map for the flatbed company to be sure they can find this place. Oh, and I already have a guaranteed buyback on the car, even if I crash it!
Let's see… How about some feedback from people with rejected experiences. This one is from a person who just submitted song lyrics instead of an experience:
tell them to fuck off.....and a 800 word requirement is crap. Bye
Or this one, it's from someone who didn't bother to spell check, and the grammar was unreadable:
Id aprechiate it if you didnt speak to me like im dyslexic, on about my grammer because i am dyslexic and i tried but no one said that. Bme is about piercing and i put it in the right place i dont rrally want to visit your site again because i fell very put down and BME isnt all its cracked up to be!
Those aren't really that exciting though… This next one is a true gem. I don't think Franko could even come up with a response this brilliant:
I am amazed at the comments to my submission. I thought BME was different, Obviously not!!!! Your readers are too fuckin soft. If your editors are going to be driven by your obviously non-educated readers or members then they are equally soft. That article is right on and explains the actual experience which took a turn for the worse yet was corrected for a great outcome. The article flows well and uses words which give attitude and style to the dialogue. Isn't that what this site wants, a little attitude and style or would your weak stick panel of first readers just rather sit around jerking off to BME in their miserable non-educated minds while they try to take out their own fucking insecurities by being grammar and creative writing TEACHERS!!!!! Fuck-off, if I wanted some soft ass fucking piece of shit to "GRADE" my paper, I would go back to grammar school.
As creative criticism to BME, I forwarded your e-mail and reader opinions to over sixty-five sources who frequent BME as a website. My responses were pretty much the same " I TOLD YOU SO!!!!! The I told you so was because they originally told me not to waste my time because "BME is becoming too politically soft and they are only getting softer"
YEH!!!!! they were right..... and being one to be proud to have the right to be educated combined with the right to say what ever I FUCKING WANT......THIS IS WHAT I SAY... (AND IT IS IN CAPS FOR YOUR PUSSY READER WHO HAS NOTHING BETTER TO DO)
IT IS AMAZING DAILY THE NUMBER OF MINISCULE MINDS I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IN PUBLIC SOCIETY, BUT TO FIND THAT BME IS ONE OF THOSE MINISCULE MINDS IS JUST A FUCKING JOKE. THAT IS RIGHT I FEEL BME IS A FUCKING LIMP DICK JOKE. I WAS A SUPPORTER OF YOUR WEBSITE AND COMMUNITY UNTIL YOU SENT THAT WEAK FUCKING E-MAIL. SO FUCK YOU... FUCK BME!!!!! ... AND FUCK EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR BECAUSE YOU ARE LIMP AND WEAK. MAYBE YOU SHOULD FUCKIN SLOW DOWN ON THE PIERCINGS AND GET A HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION YOU STUPID NON-EDUCATED FUCKS.YOU ARE NOT EVEN WORTH MY TIME....
LOOK IN THE MIRROR..... YOU WILL SEE YOUR WEAKNESS!!!!!
Well there you have it! Apparently caring about quality now gets your branded as a commie or something like that. Of all the things to accuse BME of, I think being uneducated and politically soft is one of the most comical.
Anyway, if you didn't already notice, an experience update was posted yesterday. Also, I do always need your help reviewing experiences. You can go to the help IAM page and then click on review experiences to give it a go.
Thanks!
Familial
So I went in to town today to deal with the new car stuff, and afterwards headed down to grab groceries and all that. On my way out of town I stopped at the Starbucks/Chapters Books to get a drink. To put the story into context, realize that I'm driving a red Porsche Carrera with a license plate that says “PROGRAMR” (which prompted the guy at the Ministry of Transport to ask me all sorts of questions about how to hack hotmail accounts, but that's another story). Anyway, as I walk toward the mall, I notice that parked next to me is a 500 CI Indy-edition Camaro with plates that say “LINUX“.
It should come as no surprise that is my father's car — who I haven't seen in about five years I think. I figure fate has been good to me lately, and luck is what you make it — so I went in and looked for him, and found him inside with a truly enormous stack of computer magazines.
Me: “Hey Richard! It's good to see you!”My father: “Hello my son! Wow — I really like your forehead!”
Given that the reaction I get from the rest of my elders has always been “what have you done to yourself now” type crap, this was the best way he could possibly have opened the conversation. He told me it made me look like an Egyptian priest or a wizard… Anyway, we had a coffee and talked for about an hour; it really was quite wonderful (sorry if this entry is a bit disjointed, I'm quite excited still).
He filled me in about his new businesses — a furniture company that uses hides from local farmers, and a wireless networking company that specializes in creating wired communities for the blind and mentally handicapped. Very cool stuff that makes it even more obvious that there's shared blood. He also filled me in on some hilarious SWAT team action (he's considered “the wild man of Big Island” or something) and court stuff.
I don't think I've mentioned this here before, but my father actually wrote a book on extreme body modification long before I ever did; he's a eunuch that's on higher levels of testosterone than anyone else (legally) in Canada, and has a variety of implants, and has done some pretty intense self surgery (he's also tattooed). He doesn't use the word body modification, but chooses “cyborg” instead. In some ways I'd love to have BMEbooks publish it… Anyway, he updated me on those experiences as well.
In any case, it couldn't have gone better and it's been quite a day! I'm sure the six-shots of espresso are contributing, but I'm really flying right now. I told him about all the things going on in my life as well; I have to admit that after twenty years of being told by my mother how I'm doing worthless things it's really kind of nice to get some positive feedback.
Porsche time
So I'm off now to finalize the deal on the Porsche (for those that don't regularly read my page, a deal fell into my hands with a Porsche so aggressively priced that I'll be able to drive/own it for free). Sometimes luck screws you over, sometimes it blesses you. This time it turned out very well!
Anyway, some of you might have already seen this car if you go to the races in the Toronto area (it got smashed into a wall in turn three at Mosport), but I thought it's “tribal” paint job might amuse. It looks really mean in person, especially without the sponsorship stickers… Well, I'm off but in a day or two I'll post pictures of the new one (it'll arrive tomorrow or Saturday via flatbed).
PS. So there's no confusion, that car above isn't mine; it belongs to an aquaintance. “Mine” (not really mine, I'm more of a “middleman”) is black, and Rachel's is of course red. Before you get too angry, let me again remind you that mine is free, and Rachel's costs her less than the lease on an SUV. It's all a matter of having in's at the “Department of Fate”…