Monthly Archives: April 2010

The first thing that I’ll scan

What a hilarious episode of Survivor tonight… Russel is definitely my favorite player!

I started watching Survivor ten years ago with the first season (back when reality TV was still a cutting-edge concept), and watched it on my big soft leather couch at the smelly mouse-infested and garbage filled BME crash pad at Queen and Bathurst, with my then-girlfriend Caitlin (yes, the same one), and did the same thing tonight. I’ve known Caitlin since 1994 — sixteen years! — so I guess she’s the closest thing in my life to a high school girlfriend, and one of my oldest friends.

Bit of a bumpy timeline though, seeing as there was a marriage to someone else between then and now, a marriage which as everyone knows ended very, very badly. A lot of unspeakably terrible things happened in the last half of the last seven years, but I think I can honestly and emphatically say two important things that I hope all divorcees can believe — first, I have many fond and wonderful memories, and second, I am at a much better place now than I was before the marriage (and I believe that both of those things are true for Rachel as well). If I could do things over, I would do them over differently (or maybe I’d just deal with the divorce in a different manner), but at the same time, I survived the ordeal and it’s nothing for me to lose sleep over any more. I’m very happy with where I am in my life — I have a wonderful daughter that really is the center of my universe and has been the best adventure of all time, I have been able to retire just when I needed it (something I can’t imagine without this misadventure), and of course it’s given me such a sense of worth, trust, and most of all Love in regards to Caitlin that I couldn’t have without the perspective that the difficult times gave me. The closeness that we gained from surviving the difficult times together, as a team, made me feel so close to her, a unity that I’d never experienced before with this depth.

The reason I’m mentioning this is not to brag about my joy, but to say that I got a great piece of news in the mail — my divorce has finally moved through the court and legal system, and my divorce is finally complete! Done! It’s so good to not have that hanging over everyone’s head any more — and there are quite a few people beyond myself who feel the same way, this being the first letter that’s likely made everyone involved happy. Everyone except the lawyers, since for them it — fingers crossed! — means that the river of money stops flowing.

Now it’s time to start planning a wedding! I’m definitely not doing a totally bored, numb and who-cares ceremony in street clothes, by whatever Justice of the Peace is available at City Hall. In hindsight that was a mistake that was definitely not a good start, and a mistake that I won’t make again. Not that it’ll be traditional, but it will be something special and ritualistically valuable. We’ve been engaged for a long time, and it’s good to have the freedom to actually start planning without the spectre of more legal delays tailgating us.

Anyway, I’m real happy.

divorced

Back at school day

I started doing my “homework” today… the first homework I’ve had in a very, very long time! This was the first week of Maya, so it was just covering simple modeling in 2011, as well as getting comfortable with the interface and core commands… nonetheless, I couldn’t resist getting ahead of myself and covering the roof with otter fur. I am sure that when we get into animation next week that I will be unable to resist putting various particle emitters in every orifice. So much fun!

maya

I also got myself a new toy, one of the new portable Fujitsu duplex scanners (duplex in that it scans both sides of the paper simultaneously). I got it because I have mountains of paperwork — bills, letters, legal documents, and so on — and I think that my life will be immensely improved if it all just gets shot into my computer (and then on to my accountant, my lawyer, my archives, or whatever) and then eaten by the shredder. A much better than the current “solution”, which is put it in a box in the corner thinking, “I’ll do it tomorrow”, “tomorow” being in the sense of the day that is always after today, but never today.

Nefarious’s new “toy” of the day (in addition to the Night Fury dragon that Caitlin and I got on our morning walk — and a McDonalds coffee for her and an apple pie for me) was stealing my glasses, something that fascinates her way more than I can understand, and she spent a while admiring herself in the mirror and remarking on how much older they made her look, which is true.

glasses

As I’ve said enough times to bore you, Nefarious and I have been on a major games kick lately, and probably have spent two or three hours a day — at least — playing various games. There are a few games where she can consistently beat me (memory being the most obvious — she has a killer memory), a few where she can hold her own (Othello, Chess), and a few on which I am the consistent winner (Whack-A-Mole). As I mentioned before, every game we play we tweak the rules and I think improve upon the game quite a bit. For example, I don’t enjoy games that have a heavy “chance” element in them, and prefer for games to be skill, intellect, and strategy based, so a lot of the rules we’ve come up with are about taking games and giving the brain a bigger role. If I didn’t have too many aborted projects already, I’d start a site of game rule improvements — although for all I know there already is one.

We’ve been burning through lots more Harry Potter (Order of the Phoenix, a behemoth of a book), and we’ve hit the point where they’re just starting to talk about forming the DIY Defense Against The Dark Arts classes, so the tempo has picked up after the three hundred page introduction, so Nefarious is always quite eager to get to the day’s reading.

reading

Anyway, I’ve really been trying to keep to a proper sleep schedule, but it’s all messed up, and I’ve been sooooo tired during the day. When I get up between 6 and 7 AM to make breakfast and get Nefarious off to school (she is supposed to be there at 8:15 AM) I’m full of energy, and that usually stays for Caitlin and my walk, but when I get back, I crash and there have been a few days where I’ve literally slept for the whole day — until I leave at 3 to go back to the school — and nothing would keep me awake.

Last night at about midnight (already a later bedtime than I’d planned upon — I was shooting for 10 PM), I was incredibly tired, and just as I was about to fall asleep I realized I had to queue a couple of actions on my computer, which meant literally nothing more than clicking on about a dozen links. That’s it. As I said, this process started at midnight, and should have taken at most a minute, but somehow I didn’t finish it until 2 AM!!! This means that I must have been passing out between clicks — I suspect with my eyes open — and just “going offline” for twenty minutes, and probably because I wasn’t asleep long enough to dream, I wasn’t even aware until I looked at the clock and put two and two together that it happened. To make sleep matters weirder, I was woken up at 6 AM by a horrible earthquake, and it was not until I was fully awake from the vibrations that I realized they hadn’t happened at all, but were the remnant of some dream, my dreams having been especially vibrant lately.

Other than that, I am eating some amazing white chocolate lemon truffles that Caitlin made.

Meline Animation

My classes have all started (Maya 2011 being the most hands-on right now), so my mind is on animation more so than usual these days and I am seeing through the eyes of a student. This morning, via Neatorama, I discovered Meline, which has been the spare-time project of Sebastien Laban and his girlfriend Virginie Goyons for the last two and a half years. It’s very exciting to me what can be done these days on relatively inexpensive consumer equipment, and I think that it won’t be long before software reaches the point where you can create a story and have a computer automatically create the visuals under your direction, without the need for modeling or technical knowledge — just guidance when the computer needs it (just as a director would guide their own team, by vocally describing the scene, the camera tracking, the characters and their actions, and so on). Something like the holodeck in Star Trek I suppose (interactive or not), empowering everyone to create with the capabilities of what today can only be done with millions of dollars and dozens of highly trained individuals. Putting that much creative power into the hands of just one person makes it a very exciting time to be a bard.

If you’re interested in how they created this movie, this making of is fun and shows a lot of how they did it, from early art and writing, the different tools they used for story boarding and then modeling and adding more and more components, rigging and skinning and facial animation, and so on. Whether you’re just curious or wanting to learn yourself, if you enjoyed the movie, I think you’ll enjoy the how-to as well.

After the break I’ve included two more movies done by Sebastien as a student (2003 and 2004). You can really see his growth, especially in the character animation, which in 2004 was still stuck in the uncanny valley, which I think in “Meline” he’s nearly crawled out of.

(Continued)

Poor Solutions

I was pretty tired today and was having a nap when the doorbell rang, so Caitlin answered it. I started getting up because I was hoping it would be a package with something fun, but she returned with a nervous look on her face and told me it was the police at the door and they wanted to talk to me — she had done the right thing and closed the door on them and told them she’d go and see if I was home. When I got there, it was a couple of plainclothes RCMP officers (that had the vibe of people who spent most of their time doing office work) asking if they could come inside and talk to me about some things that had been written on my blog. I replied that I’d prefer if we talked outside, although did leave to door open so that Caitlin could listen in.

As was no surprise — since someone had written me bragging that they’d reported me to the authorities and demanded I be harassed — they wanted to talk to me about the slightly controversial “Knives on a Plane” entry. After a minute it seemed to me like more than anything they were pissed off that the whole thing wasted their time and was generally an irritation that they didn’t need. They had clearly done some reading of my blog, and they pointed out that if they wanted to they could put me on a no-fly list and make my life (and my family’s life) difficult in the context of what they had learned, but I — politely — suggested to them that since they were perfectly aware that I was not a threat to air traffic, for them to punish me out of spite would really illustrate some of what I’d blogged about, that all of this is just pointless “security theatre” whose actions do little to actually stop terrorism, to which they basically said, “you don’t know the half of it… we know more than you what a waste of time all this ‘security’ is.”

On one hand, I get that they’re just following orders and they’re trying to keep their job and not make the world worse as they go through motions they know are pointless — I don’t envy their jobs, and I can empathize with the frustration they were oozing as they balanced the annoyance that I was to them, and the annoyance that the bureaucracy that makes them talk to me is as well. I should say that I was happy with how they treated me — politely and respectfully — and that I don’t bear them personally any malice for doing their job and coming by. But on the other hand, I’m not happy that this is what tax dollars are being wasted on when we’ve got serious shortcomings in education and other more important arenas. I feel like on the whole Canada has a common-sense and pragmatic approach to the law, and that’s something I’m very proud of as a Canadian, but security theatre is an area where it’s really hard not to get sucked into the giant black hole of American lunacy.

Speaking of lose-lose situations where pragmatism has gone way off-kilter, my conversations with my doctor about appropriate medication have been annoying in a similar way. One of the primary side-effects for many people with MD is pain, and the most effective treatment for this pain is either narcotic/opiate painkillers (which is something that I’m currently prescribed) or marijuana. However, opiate painkillers are heavily policed (doctors are regularly investigated and sometimes prosecuted over legitimate prescriptions if they hand out more than average), and as a result many doctors are paranoid and can be unwilling to prescribe it in high doses — even in patients who are ideal candidates for those prescriptions. For example, in my case there is hard diagnostic evidence of the cause of pain (ie. they can “prove” that I have a painful condition, rather than just taking my word for it), as well the fact tat I have zero negative side-effects from the medication, and I am currently being prescribed a low dose and less than the average dose according to the manufacturer. My doctor’s advice so far when I’ve suggested that the dose is too low? If you feel like you need more, buy it on the street. I kid you not! This is actual advice from my doctor… As if I think that’s a good idea! I guess the bizarre reasoning is that doctors are also prescribing narcotics to patients who don’t need it, so they then channel their pills into the black market — at a huge mark-up of course, to say nothing of the many other problems that all this criminality causes — and everything just “works out” somehow without the doctors having to take any personal risk. How messed up is that???

My doctors have also been recommending marijuana to me, and it is true that it’s a very effective pain killer, one of the best. It really does work. However, it comes with a ton of side-effects, making me drowsy, unable to focus (or do anything), and completely intoxicated in a way that I don’t enjoy. I spent a long time self-medicating with pot (which caused all sorts of other problems for me and those around me, even though my pain was reduced greatly) and it took a lot of effort to get clean of it, and I love being clear-headed and I don’t want to go down that road again — I’d consider it an absolute last option. In addition, if my doctor were to prescribe it, and I did everything by the book, I’d be getting the government pot which is 10% of the strength of decent street pot, so weak in fact that it’s utterly useless as a painkiller and won’t do anything but give you a headache — which has resulted in a number of lawsuits from Canadians prescribed medical marijuana. There are compassion clubs who will give proper strength medical marijuana to patients, but clubs and patients are still getting busted — people with completely legit prescriptions are being arrested! So it’s all lose-lose, with good intentions all around, but because of the inept bureaucracy there’s no solution that works, and everyone lives in a state of constant frustration… and pain.

This is as good a time as any to mention to people that they should watch this two part series: Don’t Talk To Cops Part 1 and Don’t Talk To Cops Part 2, as well as this DVD: BUSTED: The Citizen’s Guide to Surviving Police Encounters. That’s almost two hours of videos I think, but it’s really advice that’s worth the time should you ever find yourself in the position to need it… and many people who find themselves in those positions are completely surprised by it happening, so don’t think “it’ll never happen to me.” One good thing about evolved bureaucracies is that at least in North America there are enough checks and balances in place to go a long way toward protecting you, assuming you don’t get tricked into giving them away — which, unfortunately, most people do.

game-time

Other than that, I’m going to try and get a good night’s sleep today — I’ve fallen in a cycle of staying up too late, and since I have to get up at seven on school days it ends up being rather crippling, so I need to really work to break that cycle, especially now that I have school of my own to content with! Of course I have still been reserving the energy and wakefulness and joy ti play lots and lots of games with Nefarious — not just the authorities — as well as continuing to chug along on Harry Potter, of which we’ve recorded over fifteen hours of video so far on the project of making a “book on video” for Nefarious to enjoy as an adult. I’ve also been going for morning walks around the neighborhood with Caitlin which is a wonderful way to start the day.

So long from Yas Island

I watched today’s fights, and WTF was up with that Matt Hughes vs. Henzo Gracie fight, especially the last round? The last time Hughes faced a Gracie (Royce Gracie at UFC 60) was odd enough, with his opponent refusing to tap out (so Matt let him go and knocked him out a moment later rather than break the stubborn ass’s arm), but the final round of tonight’s fight was too weird. Matt was dominant throughout the match, but every time he’d get a solid hit, he’d back off and allow him time to recover. By the last round, it looked as if Henzo could be knocked out with a single finger, and in one case, a single blow put Henzo to the matt. Instead of finishing the fight, Hughes waited a moment as Gracie recovered, and then — I kid you not — helped him to his feet. WTF? At this point Gracie was just stumbling around, and eventually Matt threw a few half-hearted punches to get the fight stopped as a TKO — punches that I’m pretty sure even I could survive, and I’m quite certain were thrown only so that a TKO could be announced from the fight’s action, rather than Henzo Gracie just collapsing of his own accord.

Given that Matt Hughes promised to “bring back the violence” to MMA during this fight, what a joke it was. One of the lamest fights ever, and really not something I would have expected from either of these two so-called “legends”. Boo! BOOOO!

At first, Anderson Silva’s headline fight was hilarious, and wow, he really seemed so far out of the league of his challenger… It was as if he was fighting a child. That said, really weird as well with over-the-top clowning, a strange sort of fuck you to everyone that the crowd had no idea how to react to — I’m not entirely sure what he was trying to say and I wish he’d spent a little more energy finishing the fight and a little bit less entertaining me (and good for the ref for eventually penalizing him for it). The reasonable explanation I suppose is that he gassed unexpectedly, and then played it safe to ensure that he wouldn’t lose his title (and his record). Either way, highlight of the night.

[Edit: Caitlin says that her friends are saying both fights were rigged].

I doodled this during the fights…

head-crushing-fight

I just love doodling mini-animations (I’m sure you’ve already noticed the one by my comments form) and one of the nice things about Pencil is that its extreme simplicity means you can get right to animating, as if you had a pad of paper and a lightbox and a pencil. I’ve got to come up with a cool one for somewhere on Caitlin’s blog next, but I’m not sure what to draw… I really could do these things endlessly, but unfortunately, it’s not something one can make a living off of.

I’m quite looking forward to this upcoming week, because I’m “going back to school”. That’s exaggerating a little bit but not much — the truth is that I’m actually taking a few three or four month courses, one in Maya (3D animation), one in Massive (“Multiple Agent Simulation System in Virtual Environment” — I anticipate much joy in this $20,000 tool), and a more general one in compositing, with classes starting this week in each. I’ve been having so much fun doing 2D animation in Pencil that I thought I’d get my feet wet with some more advanced stuff.

I think also that it helps me a lot, in terms of the placebo/distraction element of pain control, to do activities that require concentration and satisfy a certain repetitive self-hypnotizing obsession that causes one to focus for long periods on something other than physical discomfort. I’ve been having sharp shooting pains inside my thigh muscles, which is unusual because most of what I have is more of a dull throbbing pain, and I realized that the pain was surrounding the location of the muscle biopsy surgery in which I was opened up and a finger-sized bit of muscle was amputated for analysis. I assumed that by now it would be healed and my leg would be back to “normal”, but the chasm where it was taken out is not only still there, but it’s larger, and there’s a large groove in the muscle through which I could probably touch the bone if I wanted (but I don’t). Equal parts gross and frightening. There are other troubling problems but nothing worth thinking about this late at night lest it murder nice dreams.

In about a week I’m heading in to the hospital to have a suite of new genetic tests done to try and narrow down the specifics of the disease, which is also good because it will answer the horrible questions like whether Nefarious or any future children are (or could be) carriers, or worse yet, could be affected themselves. I would feel awful if this turned out to be true.

Also in a week, and in much more fun news, we’re going to the pinball and coin-op auction to see if we can find anything good for the studio. Dave’s got his eyes on a Jurassic Park pinball that sounds like it’s great entertainment, until the noise drives us nuts that is.