Heart attack central

So my insurance company just faxed me my new policy; a monthly plan amounting to $4098.79 per vehicle, or a whopping $98,370.96 annually… Which is very much over of my budget!

Yes, it's an error*. I got kicked off one insurance company for speeding (more), and then off another one when they decided that they didn't want to insure anyone with a Porsche (seriously, thanks a lot Perth), so now I'm with the Facility Association, sharing insurance with drunks.

* My actual rate is about $200 US a month now. Which sucks, but I can handle.

Blasphemy

Well, I just passed 25,000 images in the bonus gallery section alone, so I've upped that array's upper bounds to 35,000 now, as well as upping the subsection limit to 250 from 150. I had to do the same yesterday for the search engine; upping the limit for images from 150,000 to 200,000. Yeah, I know it really should be dynamic, but I guess I'm being lazy.

Also, since one person expressed concern about my use of “Allah is great” and references to stoning in the Franko el Derbi emails as potentially making Muslims feel bad, let me be very clear about why I use those references. The people writing to me are often playing moral extremists who want to force their ideas on me, on BME, and on society in general. In return, I parody the most well known extremist group group trying to do the same — those calling for a return to Sharia law. By doing so it both highlights their own ignorance, and perhaps gives a tiny catalyst for them to realize it (but I doubt it). And, fundamentalists are so ridiculous (and offensive) that they're excellent tools for comedy.

It has no more to do with making fun of mainstream Muslims than making fun of Hitler has to do with Germans or the Feds burning down Waco had to do with persecuting Christians. While personally I think it's rather silly to pledge oneself to any dogma-ridden mythology that can't be verified by first hand interaction, if it makes someone happy then I think that's totally cool for them to go for it — and that goes for all faiths, be it a major recognized one, or one that you and your invisible friend invented. If it's making you happy and not hurting anyone else, I don't see how it can be anything but a good thing.

Sean Parker, Man of God

Every single person on the BME staff page got this sent to them… I'm not sure if others have bothered to reply, but I know Sir Franko did.

To: BME Staff
From: Sean Parker <supinlick@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re:

At 5/21/2003 07:13 PM -0700, you wrote:
>guys are sick sick sick - get a life -
>make yours amount to something
>
>God Bless
>    Sean Parker

Thank you so much for you kind words. Unfortunately my heart is already full of Beelzebub's love juice, otherwise I would find a godly and caring man such as yourself to lead me to Jesus so I could let him into my heart; or at least my bed, where we would all snuggle like robots at a WD40 party.

Again, thank you so much for your guidance, I appreciate you taking the time out of your meaningful and successful life to email us here. As a compromise, I will be sure to bury one of our minions up to their neck in dirt, and then stone them to death as our followers chant over and over, "Sean Parker - Sean Parker - Sean Parker!"

Allah is great. Sincerely,

Franko el Derbi
Ministry of Proctolicious

Oh come on… I know that's MARKER!

From: Franko el Derbi
To: "Rachel" <rach31@****.org>
Subject: Re: (no subject)

At 5/15/2003 03:57 PM -0799, you wrote:

Thank you so much for sending in a picture of your wonderful star tattoo.

I'm sure you can guess your password for the site -- I've tried to pick one that would make sense for someone like you. Good luck, and enjoy the site. I'm sorry I can't be more specific, but the law's the law, you know?

As Tony the Tiger always says, "Allah is Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!"

Franko el Derbi
Ministry of Delicious

Larger news

I'm get more amazed every day that Americans don't just totally lose it and start shooting politicians. Even if one doesn't want to believe they could have prevented 9/11, it's so damn obvious that everything that's going on is a TV sham… I mean, even the mainstream news is running stories about how things like “Weapons of Mass Destruction” and “Saving Private Lynch” were fabricated events (more). From the LA Times article:

Though the Bush administration's shamelessly trumped-up claims about Iraq's alleged ties to Al Qaeda and 9/11 and its weapons of mass destruction take the cake for deceitful propaganda — grand strategic lies that allow the United States' seizure of Iraq's oil to appear to be an act of liberation — the sad case of Lynch's exploitation at the hands of military spinners illustrates that the truth once again was a casualty of war.

Jessica Lynch has been locked up in a private hospital with 24/7 security that won't let her talk to any outsiders. Troops in Lynch's company have been ordered to not talk about the incident (more), one saying. “It's almost 'say a word and you'll be shot at dawn.'”

I'm sure most of you have seen this article (more) written by Warren Buffett talking about Bush's “tax cuts” (that is, transfer of money to the rich). An excerpt:

[If] Berkshire Hathaway ... decide to pay $1 billion in dividends next year, [o]wning 31 percent of Berkshire, I would receive $310 million in additional income, owe not another dime in federal tax, and see my tax rate plunge to 3 percent.

Administration officials say that the $310 million suddenly added to my wallet would stimulate the economy because I would invest it and thereby create jobs. But they conveniently forget that if Berkshire kept the money, it would invest that same amount, creating jobs as well.

Instead, [why not] give reductions to those who both need and will spend the money gained. Enact a Social Security tax "holiday" or give a flat-sum rebate to people with low incomes. Putting $1,000 in the pockets of 310,000 families with urgent needs is going to provide far more stimulus to the economy than putting the same $310 million in my pockets.

He goes on to point out that the government can't give everyone a free lunch, but that it can choose who gets that free lunch. And, he of course comes to the conclusion that having billions of dollars already, people like him really don't need a free lunch and that it's wrong for the government to make the poor and middle classes pay his way.

What blows me away is that I still constantly see people supporting this lunacy… I mean, if you're super-rich and it's going to help you, fine, then you're just evil and selfish. But if you're middle class or poorer and you support this, well, you're stupid and/or self-destructive… and that's a fact, not my opinion.

I'm sure everyone knows this, but the level of surveillance that the US government is fighting to have over its people (I say “its people” because it's clear that it believes that it owns them) is growing to be rather terrifying (more, more, more)… Americans should be warned that they are now living in a world where every word they write online can be accessed by the government without a warrant or probable cause. All it takes is a neighbor who doesn't like you making an anonymous call fingering you as a terrorist sympathizer, a Constituionalist, a tongue splitter, or whatever else the evil-word-of-the-day is.

Well, US troops are promised to the Phillipines now (more) — after all, it's a major oil reservoir and also a hotspot for al-Qaeda operations. Perfect place to send US troops if your goal is to endanger the people of the United States (more, more). Lucky for them Bush and his Cabal are not in fact Americans, but citizens of multinational corporate entities — every dollar in their pockets is paid for with the blood of the people of this world. In the past they kept most of that vampirism outside the continental USA, but that time is over…

PS. In the quorum debacle in Texas, the DPS has ordered the records be shredded (more)… Draw your own conclusions as to why they'd shred public records before anyone had a chance to see them.