Bush: Iraq is in violation of the UN, he kicked out the weapons inspectors in 1998.
Iraq: Well, you pulled them out, and they weren't inspectors, they were the CIA.
Bush: If you don't let them back in and obey the UN, we'll invade!
Iraq: Ok, ok, we'll let them in.
Inspectors: We haven't found anything yet, Iraq appears to be largely disarmed.
Bush: That's proof! If you can't find weapons, that means they must be hiding them! Britain and the US know it, too bad the UN doesn't.
Britain: Well, actually, we don't have any evidence either. Please wait to invade until we have evidence.
Bush: Who cares. We're invading with or without evidence, and with or without UN approval. You might think that makes us a rogue state, but let me make things clear. Me and Ashcroft have one thing to say to any who doubt us: WE REPRESENT GOD, YOU FUCK.
Inspectors: Honestly, we haven't found anything.
Bush: We know that Iraq bought aluminum tubing, that can be used to make nukes!
UN Nuclear Agency: No, those tubes aren't for that. They're for rockets.
Bush: He'll use those rockets to launch chemical attacks on our troops!
Worrier: If you're saying Saddam has chemical weapons, won't our boys be in danger?
Bush: No! We're giving them all experimental vaccinations, don't worry.
Military: Well, actually we don't have enough to do that.
Bush: Yeah, but we've got the best medics in the world. Let's Roll!
Military: To be honest, we don't have enough medics either.
Bush: I'm sure we can pay a private contractor to do it for us.
Worrier: But we can't pay for the war already!
Bush: No worries, Iraq has oil. We'll use that to pay to invade them.
Worrier: I hear that North Korea has nukes that can incinerate Los Angeles. Why are you focusing on Iraq?
Bush: Don't worry, we've got the missile defense shield.
Scientists: Well actually it doesn't work… But no worries, we'll just skip the testing phase, so hopefully no one will figure it out until it's too late.
India: Hey, we just got some nuclear missiles too.
Pakistan: Small world! We did too. What a wonderful world this will be! We're naming ours “Ghauri”, after the Muslim warrior that defeated India in the 12th century. Bring it on!!!