If you could physically transport yourself to any place in the world at this moment, where would you go?
I'll take it that “in the world” means I have to stay on Earth. I'm looking for a home more than a journey right now, so just take me out to the property in New Brunswick.
If you could, in retrospect, change one thing about your childhood, what would it be?
There may have been many unpleasant things in my childhood, but changing them would change me, and I'm perfectly happy with who I am.
If you could permantly alter one thing about your physical appearance, what would you change?
I need to get in better shape… If that could be made permanent, great. But I'm not sure if just being “granted” this would do me any good.
If you could be instantly fluent in one other language thhat you currently don't read or speak, which would it be?
Chinese. I'm fascinated by Chinese philosophy, but really feel like I'm only grasping it partially due to the translations not doing the language justice.
If you could have had the starring role in one film already made, which movie would you pick?
I'm really not about acting or fiction at all, but as far as taking part in what must have been an unbelievable experience, you can put me in Apocalypse Now.
If you could return for one year to one age in your life, knowing what you know now, to relive that year as you wish, which year would you go back to?
I'm sure I'd change many things in many parts of my life, but I believe that being given the right to change one's past is destructive and would hurt one's ability to learn from mistakes. I would decline the offer.
If you could have chosen your own first name, other than your current one, what would it be?
I have no problems with my own first name. Names are our connection to previous generations, and, with everything else stripped away, represent important continuity. Again, I would decline the offer.
If you had to lose one of your five senses, which would it be?
Hmmm… Probably smell, even considering that it would mean giving up some ability to taste. Vision, hearing, and touch all seem like essentials to me (although I'm perfectly aware that people can lead equally productive lives missing them).
If you could “uninvent” one thing in the world so that it would no longer exist, what would you choose?
“Things” mean nothing. Uninventing bombs doesn't stop wars. Any “thing” that is removed from existance, will be replaced by something if there is a need. Just because we misuse something doesn't mean the answer is the elimination of that thing.
If you had to sleep with two famous people simultaneously, who would you choose?
I like that the question says “had to”, not “could”… So I guess that means I'm forced. I'll choose Mil0 (hey, she's at least a little famous) and… Oh, I don't know, add another Mil0 to that order, two would be fun.
If you could have one person you know be your slave for one month, who would you choose?
If Leeta would just do what I say (actually, she's been very good and has cut down a lot on the farting), I'd be happy. I'm not really looking for slaves.
If you could change one of your personality traits, what would it be?
I'd make myself more serene.
If you had to lose one of your limbs, which one would you sacrifice? Well, I suppse I'd choose my left leg. Of the four, that seems like the easiest to get along without.
If you could choose the way you will die, how would you want it to happen?
I choose immortality.
If you had to give up all sexual activity for one year, how much money qould you demand (minimum) in return?
Money is not a motivator to me any more. Been there, done that. Money is a piece of paper that you can trade for things you don't need.
If you could have directed any film in history, what movie would it be?
I'll take this to mean “pick a great movie that you'd like to make some little changes in”. If that's the question, then I'll choose Thin Red Line. If it was me, I'd have put a stronger emphasis on the Polynesian rebirth subplot.
If you could have been a lover of any person in history, who would you choose?
I'm perfectly happy with my role in history and the Loves that it has brought me. I've made obvious mistakes, but it does seem to correct itself on its own.
If you had to have one piece of music softly playing in your mind for the rest of your life, what would you want it to be?
Oh, no, what torture! Give me something long I guess so it's less boring. Give me something like der Ring des Nibelungen (Wagner, 17 hours long) so at least I don't go insane.
If you had to sleep with someone you despise in exchange for one thing, what is it that you would demand?
OK, that question is pretty messed up, so I'll give a messed up answer in return. All I'd demand is that they enjoy it… Then they can spend the rest of their lives trying to explain why they so enjoyed sex with their despised foe.
If you could arrange a jam session with any three musicians in history, who would you include?
Mozart (a revolutionary thinker that pushed classical music forward), John Zorn (a revolutionary thinker that pushed jazz forward), and Jimi Hendrix (a revolutionary thinker that pushed rock forward).
If you had to have one platonic friend witness your next sexual act, who would you ask?
Considering that I've had sex with a lot of my “platonic friends”, it rules out most of my close friends.
If you could wear only one color besides white or black, for the rest of your life, what would you wear?
Tan. Nice natural tan colours are very soothing.
If you could make someone else live one moment from your own life, who would you select, and what moment?
I'd choose various points in my life where people betrayed me, and force them to see it from another angle. While we're at that, hopefully some people will do the same for me.
If you could give a single piece of advice to the film industry in Hollywood, what would you say?
I'd remind people that their first job is to educate, and their second job is to entertain, and that it must always be in that order.
If you could choose the very last thing you see before death, what would it be?
Again, I chose immortality.
Well, I'm off now… I think I'm going to track down an illicit (long story) drink, and then I have to pack a bunch of ModCon books that I owe people, so that'll take me to the post office. Oh, and I wasn't kidding about the custom layout thing. By day's end, unless something unexpected comes up, I'll start turning those features on.
