OK, most instead of whining that most of these poll questions are lame, I'll be diplomatic and say most of them don't apply to me… But I think I'll give it a go anyway.
- Have you ever smoked products that aren't normally made for smoking?
No, but I have smoked things that I shouldn't smoke… And I swallowed chewing tobacco when I was a kid and puked at school.
- What do you think is the best feature on your body?
People tell me they like my eyes; I don't know if that's a cop-out. Personally I like my hand tattoos.
- What would you change about yourself?
Like most people I could be in better shape and all that, but I have no real problems with who I am.
- Who's your favorite of the Seven Dwarfs?
I didn't even know there was a difference between them.
- Do you like ice?
Sure, I live in Canada for chrissake.
- What's your name again?
- Do you have any jewelry you wear all the time?
- How many holes do you have in your body that you weren't born with?
Three. I've had plenty more, but those three will never go away.
- Describe your favorite undergarment:
I have about forty pairs of relatively identical boxer shorts. I can't claim a favorite.
- Would you ever consider decorating your room with blowup pink flamingos?
There's way too much crap in here already.
- Have you ever worn plaid and stripes together?
I don't think I own anything that has either of those two things. So not only have I not worn them together, I haven't warn them apart.
- Have you ever stolen any road signs?
Again, I have way too much crap in here already. What do I want with some old road sign?
- Do you think bald heads are sexy?
Sure, but I like long hair better.
- Do you own a black-light?
Nope. I don't even have lightbulbs in half the rooms in my house. At night I walk around here with a flashlight (I'm not kidding).
- What's on your mouse pad?
Frank by Jim Woodring.
- Do your parents still have sex?
Highly unlikely, at least not with each other.
- What kinda guy/girl are you looking for?
I'm not looking, but I'm pretty easy: Someone who's nice to me and accepts my fairly extreme irrational behavior. Someone who's interesting and intelligent. And I'll admit that I don't think I could be with someone who isn't extremely attractive.
- What's the last finger food you ate?
Wings. About four hours ago.
- Do you take more than three showers a week, be honest?
It's not unusual for me to take three showers a day. I take at least one a day even in a worst case scenario.
- What size shoe do you wear?
I have no idea. I don't think I've ever bought my own shoes or boots. I hadn't even bought my own pants until about two years ago.
- Have you ever touched yourself in a public place?
I'm barely ever in public places, so no.
- Have you ever been drunk off your ass?
Almost every day.
- Are you male, female, or both?
- What's your favorite cereal?
I don't eat cereal much. Occasionally I eat granola and yoghurt.
- Do you wash your own clothes?
Yes. I enjoy the vacation.
- Do you have a journal or a diary?
What did you think this was, braniac?
- Do strangers have the best candy?
It's a safe assumption.
- Who's your daddy?
He's pretty much an older and crazier version of me.
- When your on the phone, do you use the bathroom; do you tell the person or keep it a secret?
Why would I do any of those things?
- What's your sign?
- Do you want fries with that?
Sure. And Mayonaise.
- Do you ever sit and stare at the blank TV screen?
No, that sounds horrible.
- Have you ever loved someone so much it made you cry?
Who hasn't? Maybe I should say who doesn't?
- Have you ever failed a grade?
I failed French twice in highschool, and failed about half my courses in university.
- If you were to be given an ice cube, chocolate syrup, and whipped cream, what would you do with it?
Pass them on.
- Who is your favourite actor/actress?
Oh, I have no idea. I think I can genuinely say that I've enjoyed pretty much everything Johnny Depp has been in. Actress is trickier… I'll substitute favorite for most appealing and right now I'll say Julie Delpy.
- What was the biggest city you have ever lived in?
Toronto. Unless Philadelphia is bigger, but I think Toronto is.
- What was the last movie you watched?
I watched Family Man on the airplane. It was not my decision.
- What is your favourite school subject?
Performance art. I can't believe that's even a subject, but it is.
- How many people are on your messenger list?
I have six people on my IAM.alive list.