Shannon Larratt is Zentastic

Edit: I’ve updated this post with some extra info on the alleged crimes.

Speaking of arrests (re: the comments in the previous entry), I was looking at the constantly updated “Mugs in the News” feature in the Chicago Tribune that posts arrest/booking photos of various people (way better than most of the mugshot galleries because they have the often kooky stories). I have mixed feelings about these because I am sure that a percentage of these people are innocent and are having a life-long stigma attached to them, especially as search engines improve and become able to do visual searches with face matching and so on. However, it’s always “fun” to work on improving my stereotyping skills by looking at what different sorts of criminals look like.

For example, all of the following people are sex offenders (of the child-abuse and kiddie porn sort — big surprise, one is a priest). Are you surprised? They all seem to have that “look” that one imagines sex offenders having. Perhaps there are genetic markers, a la the “gay face” (and speaking of search engines, it may be possible to program computers with gaydar) — not that I’m suggesting in any way that these people are gay (I’d assumed they’re straight, actually, although the middle one is a “boy lover“).

Who hires the creepy old man on the right to babysit? I gotta say, those parents should have known better… There are so many disgusting sex abuse stories in the set, like the guy I just linked who was a nurse at a hospital raping old ladies… How low can you go?

The middle guy’s “I’m Popeye” shirt is pretty funny, but it can’t compare to the sadly mistaken “how to out run a cop” shirt that this guy, who was busted for “felony criminal damage to government supported property” (graffiti on a police car or something like that I am guessing taking an axe to a playground… wtf?). Inappropriate shirts are always one of my favorite sections of sites like The Smoking Gun.

The people below were all charged with murder, each of them looking as if they just stepped out of a horror movie. The middle guy, who was charged with two counts of first degree murder? Holy hell, I’m sure he’s going to be chasing me around in my next nightmare. He burned his two kids to a crisp in what he claims was a botched suicide attempt. Ack! The first guy is scary in an altogether different way (he is “mildly retarded” and killed his dad), and the woman on the right appears to have been stabbed in the head by a cross, probably by someone who mistook her for some sort of demonic creature (she beat her child to death).

I don’t know exactly what this next woman did, but The arrest below was for a “hate crime”, specifically, trying to yank the headscarf off of a Muslim. Does her expression ooze hate or what? Can you imagine if she was your mother? Worst childhood ever.

Now for someone more cheerful. He actually looks happy to be there, so I’m guessing he’s guilty of a “love crime”, in a good way. In reality, he was busted for selling drugs outside a church. I’m not sure why, but it’s actually more illegal to sell dope (cocaine actually) when you’re within 1,000 feet of a church.

I think perhaps my favorite of the set though were these two burglars, with what I assume must be the goofiest disguise ever… A mask drawn on with black magic marker? What kind of person actually thinks this is a good idea? Unless of course they just committed the robbery after waking up from a party they passed out at? I have to wonder as well if doing such a thing gives you a “not guilty due to mental illness” type defense as it clearly shows a fairly significant mental deficiency.

Here’s their story by the way.

Finally, another interesting thing about looking at the mugshots is seeing groups of people who get arrested at once (like the two above). The six below were all busted for “mob action”. I don’t exactly understand what “mob action” is — I guess it’s just a way to collectively charge a bunch of people for a single crime (literally: “the use of force or violence which disturbs the public peace by two or more persons acting together and without authority of law.”). In reality, it seems like it’s also a way to up a small charge — I think these guys are the Olympic protesters who tore down a public poster — by turning a misdemeanor (tearing down the poster) into a felony (mob action). Doing some searches on it online, it seems like it’s not unusual for it to be used to intimidate civil rights activists from gathering together.

The first guy is the fun one of the bunch.

I wonder as well if the left two in the bottom row are twins?

Holy cliche of anti-government protesters though!

And wow do I hate my host (dreamhost) more and more every day. If my sites weren’t so massive and difficult to relocate, I would have moved a long time ago. The amount of downtime I have is totally unacceptable.