Shannon Larratt is Zentastic

You know, on an objective level a lot of stuff in my life is kind of messed up… I'm going through the stresses of a divorce, which even in the best of cases is unpleasant (and I think that as much as there are hiccups, Rachel and I are handling things better than most), I might go partially blind because of my over-the-top body modification interests, and I've been diagnosed with a nerve disorder that means I may be in increasingly large amounts of uncontrollable pain for the rest of my life, but when it comes right down to it, I'm happier now than I have been in a very long time. It's interesting, because I think when you feel your life is falling apart and everything is being taken away from you — business, body, relationships, everything — it gives you an insight that's very important in the process of growing up.

I went out for a fun pub supper with friends down the street (when I go out with Michael it always means a few too many pitchers!)… But the last couple days (because right now I'm “cooking for one” I have to cook a similar meal a couple days in a row) I've cooked chicken — which is funny because I don't really like meat, and definitely not chicken — in a garlic cranberry reduction with various veggies and rice. Last night I made it with a rather spicy seaweed jerk sauce and it turned out quite well.

Well, my eye hasn't ruptured yet. I think there's a cyst of ink (jeez, I hope it's only ink) trapped between the muscle and the eye, which is slowly trying to force its way out. It's kind of painful, but I think that even the worst case scenario should be inside “acceptable”. Ha. I'm sure I must seem like such a nutter to people who don't know me or understand what makes me tick, but really, I don't particularly care about those people. And I suspect that most of the people who read this little diary, or that hang out on BME in general, probably feel the same way and feel the same way themselves. It's interesting how alien we can be from the “average” human experience, while being so incredibly human at the same time.

Well, tomorrow I'm going to try and get Ferg's much delayed article on the way (sorry to Ferg for taking so long), and I have a couple of great interviews about female genital modification on the way as well that I hope I'll be able to publish soon…

Thankfully I put my car into storage today so I don't have to drag myself out of bed super-early tomorrow to keep it from getting towed! And now, to bed. So tired! And tomorrow morning it's off to the gym… Ack!