Shannon Larratt is Zentastic

So I noticed that my right hand was shaking pretty bad because I was having trouble using the mouse — no typing west of Qwerty! The weird thing is that my left hand wasn't shaking at all. Just my right hand, and then tremors up to about the shoulder. I showed Jon and pointed out that my hands were also different colors which I didn't notice until then. The one that I couldn't control fully was a deeper red. Dunno why. It's still kind of shakey but at least it's not a different color any more.

Saira said I should probably call a doctor about that?

The funny thing is that I've had variations on the above most of my life too… I think one of the first “weird” appointments I had with a doctor when I was a kid was because I was complaining that someone other than me was moving my arm. I had some tests done but nothing ever came of it. It's funny because one of the reasons I can remember that I had some of the same issues when I was a kid — holes in my memory, pain issues, and seizure/tremor stuff — is because I remember no one taking them seriously when I told people.

I can't remember where I took that picture.

I was thinking a bit about pain… I mean, this tumor has hurt like crazy for as long as I can remember. I know it's hurt at least fifteen years or so, because when I first started getting tattooed I remember thinking about how much less it hurt to get tattooed than the pain that I'm always in. It's not really the same pain, because tattooing (or at least lining) is a very sharp and external pain, whereas a bone pain is dull and internal.

Anyway… Clearly it's a pain level that I can deal with, because I have, and most of the time I don't even think about it because I'm so used to it. But at the same time, I don't really enjoy hurting all the time. So I don't know if it's appropriate to ask for anything or not. A part of me thinks, “oh, good, now you have a 'valid' excuse to ask”, but another large part of me points out the obvious that I don't really need it, and it would just be a cop out that'll probably make other stuff hurt more in relative terms in the future anyway.

My conclusion is not to get any, but it's an interesting thought experiment because you think about the relationship between pain treatment and date of diagnosis in comparison to the date of the onset of symptoms, and in my case (what with all the intentional pain), how it causes me to relate differently to pain in general.

That picture was actually taken by The Lizardman in (duh) the UK, and the sky was shot by me in South Africa… I think they turned out alright combined.

Anyway… Rachel is coming to take Nefarious off for a Thanksgiving holiday, so I have next week to pound through lots of work (and maybe even get caught up on a little sleep). I've got to get my new gallery code done. It's been far, far too long, and the clock is ticking fast toward the end of the year (we're less than a month until submissions for 2006 are over!).