Shannon Larratt is Zentastic

Not that I have a problem going to the doctor, but I am really looking forward to going today. I didn't remember to refill my anti-seizure prescription so I feel really fucked up right now and it's taking all of my concentration to stay relaxed. I'm shaking pretty badly and only got about two hours of sleep (I thought it was constant trains going by for half the night until I realized it was just me vibrating, ha).

It's not really fair to rely on someone else to help deal with this sort of thing, but it's times like this that I really miss being in a relationship simply for “survival” reasons. I imagine it's just an illusion of course, but I can move my consciousness, or what I perceive as the seat of my consciousness, around inside my body as well as maybe about a foot outside my body — so if someone touches me I can move myself into their body and just feel with their nerves instead. It's hard to explain, but it's really relaxing. I do it sometimes when I'm getting tattooed as well; if I touch the tattoo artist I just experience what they're doing and I can't feel any pain because I'm in their body not mine.

I don't know if it's real or an illusion. I think it's probably metaphorically real (like the experience is real but the explanation is wrong). Maybe that's another checkmark in the “Shannon=Crazy” file, not that I care one way or the other what it says in my file (as long as it's not boring). Anyway… time to force myself to cool down as much as possible, go make breakfast and lunch for Nefarious, and get her off to school…

Edit: Since I got a couple concerned messages from friends, I wanted to clarify that I'm just fine and there's nothing to worry about! I'm just really, really, really, really tired mostly. Too much work, too few hours.