Dear Doctors,Living in the apartment next door is an old German couple — totally nuts and very nosey. At first I thought they were in some strange sort of “historical re-enactment club,” as old men and couples were always coming to their place dressed in German WWI and WWII officer's uniforms. While I had no proof, later I came to suspect that they were having strange geriatric Nazi sex parties, and today I may have gotten more evidence to support that theory.
I got a knock on the door and it was an old German lady, with other one fifteen feet behind her. She told me that she'd lived here forty years ago, and that she was the first tenant of this apartment. Then she sort of just barged in and began to look around! I stepped in front of her to keep her from wandering down the hall. Then, seeing all the paintings she asked me if I was an artist. I told her I was, just moments before her eyes caught a ManWoman print that hangs here.
A portrait of his skin, covered in swastikas. 
I wasn't sure how she'd respond — most people don't react well to swastikas. But, she just stood there smiling at the painting. With hope, she turned to me and asked, “did you paint this?” She seemed dismayed when I told her that it was not my work and her friend (who'd been sheepishly apologizing the whole time) dragged her out. That was the last I saw of them; my brief encounter with aging Nazi spies.
Maybe that's too circumstantial, but in my world, it's another piece of evidence to suggest I live next door to some kind of occult sex club catering to war criminals. I'm pretty sure they have alien technology in there that they use to travel to their submarine base under the arctic and do anti-gravity research...
Sincerely,
Shannon
PS. Of course, in the real world, my nosey neighbors just social engineered me, and broke into my apartment to try and see if there was anything they could call the police about or have me evicted over. They're like vampires though; it's my own fault for letting them in. I should have just driven a wooden stake through their hearts while I had the chance…
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