Shannon Larratt is Zentastic

People always ask me but what would you do? … well, here's my crazy idea as to what I would do if I was in Bush's shoes. It's not quite what I would do if I was Bush in the beginning of 2001, but it's probably what I would do in 2004. So if I was applying for a neo-con job (which I am not), this is what I'd tell the demons at the job interview.

1. No handover of sovereignty to Iraq on June 30 or ever.
2. Make Iraq a territory of the US (like Puerto Rico or USVI). They can either accept it or all US ground troops pull out and the country is levelled border to border with nuclear strikes. Sorry, but it's too late now to make it optional.
   • English added as an official language.
   • Iraq must harmonize its laws with US laws.
   • Iraq must harmonize its taxation with US laws.
   • Iraq must abide by the US Constitution and form of government.
   • Adopt US currency, infrastructure, etc.
   • Can petition for State status ten years after meeting stability condition.
3. Complete withdrawal of all US military bases in foreign nations.
4. Complete withdrawal of all foreign aid by the US of all kinds (economic, financial, political, technological, relief, etc.).
5. Complete withdrawal from the United Nations and all international treaties and organizations. The US comes first and other nations are not the US's problem.
6. Complete withdrawal of all US assets from other nations, followed by complete withdrawal and negation of all international debt, and as a result, the total elimination of income tax for US citizens.
7. Addition of neutrality Amendment to US Constitution forcing non-intervention.
8. Disband the Army, but maintain total air, space, and sea superiority as well as a small but superior strike force. Continue WMD development and step back to a don't tread on me policy with the understanding that any country that fucks with the USA will be leveled border to border.
9. Major investment in R&D to ensure technological dominance by the US, coupled with an education program designed to help US students be the best on the planet.
10. Total dominance of space with military assurance thereof. All satellites and space vessels not approved by the US will be shot down.

    Now is where it gets even more interesting and you get an idea of the end result:

11. Zero trade of any kind with any nations who do not have comparable laws in terms of work standards, minimum wage, civil rights, etc.
12. Extreme emphasis on a high export to import ratio. No product that can be made inside the US should ever have to be imported.
13. Any country can voluntarily declare bankruptcy and surrender to the US and become a territory as well (as above).
14. No aid is offered to the new territories other than integration into US infrastructure, economy, and political system.
15. All of the above is pretty much insane and if you took it seriously, you may be suffering from heatstroke, oxygen deprivation to the brain possibly as a result of choking on a pretzel, and/or the effects of psychotropic drugs of some sort.