Shannon Larratt is Zentastic

BME/Risks constantly gets goofy stuff submitted to it. The signal to noise ratio on that site is obscene. At least some of it's funny… I think I've printed this one here before, but it's one of the best:

Risk name: Parents Kick Your Ass
Applies to: Play piercing

Details:
A minor gets a tattoo, piercing, or other visible mod. Parent notices; beats child severely. Possible grounding and isolation/promt and sometimes painful removal of the jewelry can also be expected.

References:
Personal experience/word of mouth

Then there's this one from “Joseph Leonard Shaffer” who, after a little bit of fireplay, accidentally breaks his penis… He has some follow-up advice for himself also, and then a second message as well.

Risk name: Broken Penis
Applies to: Fireplay

Details:
I have tried to break my penis with a lot of force that i give I want my penis broken so I can't be able ejaculate I bend it back as far as it will go and twisting it but no cracking sound can i hit pretty hard with any hammer I am willing to take the risk because for some reason I want break my penis so I don't have to put up with it anr longer signed risk taker.

References:
I stongly encourage myself to break my penis.

Risk name: Joseph
Applies to: CBT, penis

Details: I put a hot hair dryer to my scrotum until it really stretched totally sretched then i held it to my penis until it became really painful now both scrotum and my dick got really wrinkled big time and i don't regret it at all that i did it and i got it like really hot. oh yes i for got i keep cracking my penis and i can here it crack to until it hurt inside that is totally cool that i done these things. I would want to say something else i also hit my dick wit a hammer until it turned really black and blue you can i really wanted to break my dick big time and i am proud of doing so i know you wanted me to say it over the internet so said it. Oh jug my dick with a sraight pin and when i pulled it out the blood gushed out like a fountain from three different holes two that i made myself and out of the head i tell you i had a lot of cleaning up afterwards including my rag was soaked in blood.

References: I stongly encourage it because i am going to keep on doing it trust me.

I strongly encourage myself to stop reading messages from Mr. Shaffer… Hmmm… what's this? Mail from Mrs. Shaffer? I wonder where her advice falls? (The real punchline is that these messages came over a six month period!)

Risk name: Josephine Shaffer
Applies to: Suspension and pulling

Details:
skin tearing, bleeding to death even infection. it may the risk i am willing to take.

References: I strongly encourage myself to be suspended with hooks because it could be a great experiance for me.

Ah, I see. This entry has the risk of laughing, followed by urinating. It may be the risk you are willing to take? This next dude also had some difficulties with fire on the penis, but he's at least taking this all much more seriously.

Risk name: burnt penis
Applies to: Fireplay

Details:
when u light ur penis it will burn and be very pain ful for the person whos had it done. its is strongly advised thaat you do not do this as it might leave you with errection problems and soreness down below and repeated infections and sting like hell when u go 4a pee

This guy's got some drouble with “analboy”… A condition convenient for wanna-be marsupials.

Risk name: analboy
Applies to: Anal stretching

Details:
I stretched my anal so far it ripped. Now i can fit my dog in my ass

Alright, so maybe I don't want advice from a dude with a dog up his butt. Maybe I'm going to find it with the youth of today?

Regarding: Bone erosion from jewelry

Comment:
The Freakin' Retard Should Never Have Gotten A 2Ga. Lip Peircing In The 1st Place!!! Idiot, That's Like, HUMONGOUS For A Chin Or Lip!!!

Take It From Me, I'm 12 Yr. Old, And I've Got 4 Peircings

This is all to confusing. What does it even mean?

Risk name: Jory
Applies to: Genital beading

Details:
Risk is the meaning of dangering.

Ahhhh… now I get it. So this is BME/dangering! Too bad this next guy didn't clue in to that… he thought it was a porn site.

Risk name: minum
Applies to: Breast torture

Details:
i do not know very well i just wan to see those pic

References:
duno sex are humles i think

God, I love humles sex! Everyone's looking for pictures:

Risk name: Safety Pins
Applies to: Nose piercing

Details:
send me some imagens, to sick my rebel little girl

I've saved the best for last… This person says that BME/Risks is a scaremongering scam, and that the only risk of tongue piercing is having something you love in your mouth!

Risk name: having something you love in your mouth
Applies to: Tongue piercing

Details:
if you get your tounge pierced there is a very low risk of this happening! if u ignore all the "risks" u will love it---those so called "risks" are just things that parents made up to scare there kids aray from tounge piercings