I'm off to the gym, then to lunch, then to the eye doctor, and then when I get back I guess I'm doing some interview with some newstalk radio station (CJME/CKOM) in Saskatchewan or something. My guess they'll ask the same two or three questions about tongue splitting they always do and nothing particularly inspired will come of it.
I'm getting ready to just start making crap up with these foolish DJs that just are looking to fill five minutes with whatever the latest thing is to keep their advertisors happy.
DJ: How many people have their tongues split?Shannon: Well, five years ago it was almost unheard of, but now, hundreds of thousands of people. It's a [beep]ing army of snake men.
DJ: Really?!? Why did all these people do it?
Shannon: Haven't you heard of the Lizardman? He's the one member of the reptilian overlord race that we humans actually have a chance with. He feels that maybe we are more than just slaves, and our church teaches that if we recreate ourselves in his image he is more likely to accept our offerings.
DJ: Are you serious?
Shannon: Oh, absolutely... Mark my words, there is a great battle coming, and you're going to wish you had your tongue split too.
I wonder how far they'd let me take it on air?
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