Shannon Larratt is Zentastic

Does this lead to this? Now a bad joke:

Saddam Hussein phoned President Bush and said, "I had a dream about the United States. I could see the whole country, and over every building and home was a banner."

"What was on the banner?" asked Bush.

"LONG LIVE SADDAM!" answered the dictator.

"I'm so glad that you called," said President Bush, "because I too had a dream. In my dream, I saw Iraq and it was more beautiful than ever; totally rebuilt with many tall, gleaming office buildings, large residential subdivisions with swimming pools in every yard; and over every building and home was a big, beautiful banner."

"What did the banner say?" asked Saddam.

"I don't know," answered President Bush, "I can't read Hebrew."

"I don't know," answered President Bush, "I can't read."

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next, when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Hussein", a heavily accented voice said."This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you."

"Well Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news. How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation. "There's myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight."

Saddam paused, "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorra", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring to back."

Sure enough the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on. We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment.

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm-tractor," said Paddy.

Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1 1/2 million since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us," said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on. We have managed to get ourselves airborne. We've modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well."

Saddam went silent for a moment and then cleared this throat. "I must tell you Paddy, that I have 1,000 bombers and 2,000 fighter planes. Laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites surround my military complex. And since we last spoke I've increased my army to TWO MILLION."

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Hussein. I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well" said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints and decided that there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."