Yes, I know I'm probably going to hell for this, but when people try and screw me over by sending in some tired old picture that's been floating around the net for seven years (the first time it was posted to BME), it wastes my time. And I reserve the right to waste their time in return. Some recent “accepted submissions” that were processed by Franko:
1.Thank you so much for sending in your picture. It has been processed, and will be added to the site shortly. In order for you to retrieve your password, you will need to yell "BME" at both the rising and setting sun for seven days. On the seventh night, which must coincide with the full moon, you must perform another piercing (and photograph it) at exactly the stroke of midnight.
At that point, Lord Murugan will appear to you and bestow the password unto you.
I'm sorry if this seems strange, but it is the only way we can be sure that God wants you to see the site.
Franko
Ministry of Truth2.
Thank you for sending in your pictures. The site could not continue to grow without people such as yourself submitting pictures of themselves.
Your account has been processed and your password is ready to be mailed to you (email is not secure). You should expect to receive it in two to four weeks*. Thank you for your support,
Franko
Customer Service* Note: if you did not include your mailing address, no password will be sent. Please contact me if you forgot to include your mailing address.
3.
Thank you so much for sending in a picture of yourself and your friend. I have emailed your account details to bmetest@hotmail.com
For legal reasons, we can only offer passwords to those who are "True American Patriots". Details on retrieving your password may be found at https://www.whitehouse.org/
Franko
Customer Relations4.
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Ithoutway ethay elphay ofway inefay olksfay uchsay asway ourselfyay endingsay inway eirthay icturespay, ethay itesay ouldcay otnay owgray. Ankthay ouyay againway.
Franko Derb
Customer Service
The last two were to folks who sent in pics of CT and goddam, and the first two were well-known female genital pictures — and they'd even gone to the effort to write a short fake experience to go with them! …Which actually makes them easier to catch, because they usually screw up the details and misname the anatomy. Seriously, it's kind of pathetic to not even know the names of the anatomy you're trying to jerk off over!
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