Woo-hoo — I've been sick and feeling down all day and suddenly my Vette arrives on a flatbed. There's still a ton to do (it's blown now, but just has a cheap “sled” cowl, and needs lots of visuals as well as new tires, suspension work, etc.), but it's good to have my car back.
I just finished writing this entry and a bunch of C**M shit gets thrown at me again. Well, at least I was in a good mood for fifteen minutes. Seriously, in my entire life I don't think I've had to deal with anything as personally painful as that, and I wish people would just drop it with me. I do my best to keep my mouth shut on the subject to be nice, but if it keeps getting pushed at me, that policy will end.
How long do I have to keep putting up with this shit before I can ethically say “if you choose to keep supporting that group you are not welcome on IAM”? No one would blink if I didn't allow KKK members on the site, even if they behaved here.
But no, even though this site was set up for friends of BME, now it's grown larger and I'm expected to pay to support the “enemies” of BME as well. Even though donations are basically zero at this point, I'm expected to have to pay the bills out of my own pocket and spend every waking moment slaving to make it better, but if I do even the slightest thing that makes it even seem like I'm exercising personal bias in management of the site, I get piles of hatred heaped on me by a bunch of self-important assholes who get off on other people's misery.
It really hurts.
A friend said to me the other day, “remember, every 'customer' you don't hear from is a happy customer,” and I do understand that, but it doesn't make it any easier that the vast majority of contact I have with the online world is complaints and attacks. I think there was a movie that asked what would happen to angels psychologically — after all, they are creatures of love, but have nothing but abuse thrown at them for thousands of years.
We all know what happens when a loving dog gets beaten for a few years.
Sometimes it makes me wish I just worked at McDonalds.
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