I worked a bit on that shirt design… The front text is a little hard to read in the thumbnail, but you get the idea (if it's not damn obvious, it says “My tongue went to a piercing studio, and all I got was this stupid brain abscess“). The statistics on the back are accurate for America, although other nations will of course have lower rates of heart, colon, and gun deaths. Anyway, here's my idea for it:
Note: the typos on the back have been fixed.
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