I haven't worn jewelry in my ears for the past month or so, and thus my ears have shrunk down a little from two inches. Yesterday I popped in the words ugliest jewelry; just a couple of rolled up pieces of plastic. They're slowly expanding and pushing everything back to wear it was, but it's sore, partially because of the stretching, partially from bad material, and partially just because it's got some sharp edges.
I got a courier delivery earlier this morning… I know the courier, so he doesn't even seem to notice that I answer the door in my underwear, with my hair messed up, and big pieces of plastic rolled up in my ears. He told me a story about unloading his jetskis down a boat ramp — his brakes failed and his Bronco found itself with three feet of water over it's roof. It was a total writeoff, but as is typical, they're only giving him a fifth of the replacement value.
When he asked them, “Where am I supposed to find a certified replacement truck for a grand?”, they replied, “You expect us to believe your truck would have passed certification?”
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