A while back one of the multitude of polls that run here said “have you ever met anyone interesting at the laundromat?” I did laundry today, and as is almost always the case, I met someone interesting. When I parked behind the laundromat, I was next a brand new extended cab Dodge Ram (I believe Mr. Haworth drives one too?)… Anyway, it wasn't long before the owner, a local metalsmith, noticed my truck, and we began talking about “car stuff”. Among other things, he was shocked that I basically got it for free — I paid between $15k and $20k below bluebook value (and no, it's not stolen). We talked about our mutual recent trips to Jamaica (I still had my photos in the truck!) and then about South America. He was Portugese and had spent some time in Brazil.
Anyway, I have a fairly large collection of subversive books from Loompanics and Paladin Press. However, I know enough about most of these subjects first hand, that I can tell you with certainty that the books should read as fiction. They're riddled with errors. I thought that what I read today, in “Homicide Investigation: A Practical Handbook” by “Burt Rapp” might amuse some of you (sort of like the Tribalectic stuff):
Injuries and mutilations of the genital area are always worth noting and photographing1. Members of homosexual and sado-masochistic2 subcultures use "cock-rings," leather straps or metal rings, fastened around the base of the penis and testicles, to enhance sexual excitement. While not harmful in themselves, these devices can provide investigative leads. Another type of sexual appliance is the needle3 or ring inserted into the penis, in a process known as "infibulation."4 A metal ring passed through the urethral opening and coming out of the bottom is called a "Prince Albert," and usually indicates a sado-masochistic subculture5 because cutting into the urethra and insertion of the ring are done without anesthesia by non-medical people6. Some devices are elaborate, fashioned of precious metals and inset with jewels.7
1 Well, we definitely all agree with that.
2 According to all my statistics drawn from this site, genital piercing is neither a homosexual or sado-masocistic activity.
3 What kind of deviant wears a needle as jewelry?
4 Uh, no. Infibulation is a chastity procedure that makes sexual activity difficult. Piercing is very rarely about that.
5 Again, no.
6 True, but this seems like a knee-jerk “didn't that hurt?” response which sort of misses the point.
7 It's quite rare for piercing jewelry to be particularly elaborate.
Ok, in Burt's defense — this book is copyrighted 1989, which actually makes it pretty ahead of its time for even discussing piercing. Given that, it's remarkably accurate. So I'm not really being fair.
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