Will the funmail never end?

Let's start with the classic type of funmail:


From: hebe83@iowatelecom.net
Subject: nasty

you people have to be on crack to do this shit. didnt any of this hurt god damn fucked up shit

I guess when you're living in Iowa, all the weird stuff in this world must be due to some big-city crack thing.

OK, this next one I thought was weird. BME pretty much never removes anything, it just adds more and more and more and more information. But still, all the time, people complain that the site used to have far more and it keeps getting smaller:


From: JiggiJRoc000@aol.com
Subject: info??

i thought this site used to contain quality information about piercing healing, the likelihood of rejection for particular piercings. this site rocked a few years ago but it seems like you guys have totally sold out. your faq section is completely inadequate.

a very disappointed former fan

I replied and let them know that all they had to do was click on FAQs and they'd find all of this, and that, in addition, the glossary contained lots more information, and even more could be found in the individual sections. Here is the deranged reply:


actually, i thoroughly examined all the free parts of your site and found no information on the likelihood of rejection for any piercing listed. too bad. but fortunately there are sites out there that do answer these basic questions. look at your FAQ section and see if you find any information about rejection. i cant believe there are people that would pay just to get basic answers. but hey, thats how it works here in this country huh? squeeze that nickel til it bleeds as long as you have suckers willing to pay for inadequate information and poorly presented photos. like i said, you guys rocked until you sold out. please do not reply to this letter.

still disappointed

Of course this is from someone who has never lifted a finger to help on any level... I have no idea what they're talking about, considering that ALL of this info is in the free section, and always has been, and always will be. The only members stuff is the adult and extreme stuff... It's funny, most of the time, people complain that the free section doesn't contain enough (big surprise, right), but sometimes people complain about the the PAID section.


Subject: Refund

I HADN'T SEEN ANYTHING ANY DIFFERENT THAN I DID FOR FREE, SO I WOULD LIKE MY MONEY BACK. THANK YOU .

OK, at first this seems odd, but here's the catch: BME has a satisfaction guaranteed policy. If you're not happy with what you find, you get your money back. You just have to say why... So I get some pretty weird excuses.

Another question that I get variants on non-stop:


From: BASEONEPARKAVE@aol.com
Subject: which nipple

iam male

does it matter which nipple i have pierced

does left mean anything?
does right mean anything?
thanks 4 your hhelp and advice

micky

I gave my standard response: "Getting either nipple pierced means you are gay. There are nerves in the nipples that trigger it. Unless you're already gay in which case it can reverse it." By the way, if you're in Toronto, don't forget: the HUGE gay pride parade is this weekend! I'll be there at Church and Wellesley.

Anyway, I get "sellout" type emails all the time. Now, I understand at least a little when it's from someone who has contributed to the site and just doesn't like the commercial aspect -- I can relate to that. But when it's from some idiot who isn't even willing to write an experience or send in a picture, I can't really muster up a lot of respect for them:


From: Allison Olearos
Subject: bullshit

i think it is bullshit that you have to add a story or picture to bme to have full access... it used to be free, what the fuck happened? two words, SELL OUT.

One last one, this one is from a commercial piercer -- I get similar emails on a regular basis that read very similarly. Now, other than the holier-than-thou attitude Mark has -- that he is somehow qualified to do "minor surgery" is patently ridulous, but anyway... And I really have no patience for people calling me "stupid" and then saying "no offence intended". If you don't mean any offence, then write a civil letter instead:


From: Mark Campbell
Subject: piercing

Shannon,

My name is Mark, I am a body piercer from Washington. I hate to get in peoples buisiness, and stur up dust but I am outraged by your stupid web site!
Are you trying to get kids killed?! Publishing storys about some retards piercing themselvs with unsterilized and unsanitary equipment that isn't ment for body piercing, when they themselves are not professionals! Glorifying the thought of piercing yourself is a stupid thing to do. It isn't as easy as people think and I thank God that the dumb asses that wrote storys about themselves are ok. You are literaly cutting in to flesh and you have to know EXACTLY what you are doing, it is a minor sugery. Do you think that they should give themselves stiches? Or should they go to a doctor(pro)? I don't know if you yourself are a piercer and I mean no disrespect to you. I just think that a lot of people get hurt and even die from home made piercings that have gone wrong, and I think that if you are a piercer you should understand that. Just a suggestion that you take any and every story about SELF MUTILATION off of your site, because that is what those kids are doing to themselves. Instead, encourage them to go to their local shop. Once again, no offence intended.

Mark

I replied to this like I always do:


Mark, I understand what you're saying. However, you have to realize that the site isn't about censoring people's experiences or telling them that they can't share their experience because they didn't do it "right". It is a place where they can share what they've been through no matter how "stupidly" they did it.

Whenever *I* write anything official I encourage responsible behavior. But that's really as far as I can go. If people had stepped up and tried to protect everyone, piercing wouldn't even exist here.

By offering readers a glimpse into EVERYTHING that goes on in this world, not just what you or I determine is the right way to do things, we allow them to educate themselves and make sane decisions with a full comprehension of what is involved.

Not that it's much of a surprise, but Mark has not replied. Most people are far more interested than telling me what to do than hearing a response... Oh well. I've got an endless supply of these messages. I'll post more soon I'm sure.

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One Comment

  1. Allison Olearos wrote:

    I don’t know who wrote in using my name on your above email, but it wasn’t me. I’m also the only person in the entire world with my name, because my last name is entirely made up and doesn’t really exist outside of my father and I. I would appreciate it if you could take at least the last name off this post as I really can’t be associated with something like this due to my career. Thanks.

    Sunday, October 26, 2008 at 4:18 pm | Permalink
Wow Shannon, that's really annoying! What is it, 1997 on Geocities? Retroweb is NOT cool!

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