The latter experience had me at the hospital. I told the nurses and doctors what I’d experienced then as a mere six year-old, but the authorities dismissed it as nothing. My parents subsequently threatened me with being taken away from them as a further deterrent from talking about it again despite the scabs I had on my face and the scar on my upper lip that identifies me today.

It seems to be escalating and while this parent may only have custody of this child once every 3 months, it is more caregiving than actual parenting. Her disapline is out of line and hopfully some form of mediation can be obtained.

Breaks my heart that you fired a nanny for spanking your child but can’t do the same with someone else having limited access due to genetics.

sad.

Sarah (and anyone else with the same experiences), I would definitely appreciate feedback either here or by private email about how this made you feel as a kid and how you explained it to yourself (if it was even an issue). Thanks

If you were to speak to 20 year Toronto City Cops they’d tell you that the worse call is the domestic call. It is so nuts and when one counts the broken bodies and dead people domestic violence up to and including beatings and death exceeds crime violence and we won’t even cross over to the violence we declare and live whether NFL and dead at 54 or Generation Kill.

What ever happened to those guys who scammed five million out of the Bank of Montreal and took off for Switzerland. Of course they’re dead. You can’t do that – I think it was three guys – they worked for the bank and created an account over a couple of years with a line of credit at 5 mil THEN pulled the money and ran. They had a party before they did the deed. It got a couple days of PLAY on CBC and they never caught them. Yeah sure.

You have to decide if Ari is under any real danger beyond having a mother whose life is most likely coming apart big time. By her own admission there have been no renewals to speak of and you can’t run the old site on a do it-yourself T-Shirt operation. Esp if as she reports you lose 1000s in ink learning how to do it.

Before she (Milo, Rachel) took her page off “public” she declared she has hurt her back and could not continue.

She has said that the intellectual property is going back to the people who are in the pix. So connect the dots.

And how exactly do you or rather Milo explain to the court that you washed your kid’s mouth out for saying fuck when the court has a pix of you wearing a T-Shirt saying that you prefer your men with split cocks.

In case you are wondering. The last thing I would do is agree with the general view here that the courts can intervene esp in either of your cases.

For better or worse Ari must be minutes, hours, days or weeks from the self-awareness the realization that she can destroy either of you or both of you. And that finally is it. It’s Ari’s call.

If destroy is too extreme – wound.

But she’s just a little girl.

Yeah – and she has that power and given her IQ and what she has seen – I would be astonished if in fact there is anything here she would not understand.

Anyway – been there done that and I have got the T-Shirt.

I got my fair quota of smacks as a youngster – always I think from my mother – and when the situation warranted it, administered in public. I also on at least one occasion got spanked with a gym plimsoll at primary school. Politically incorrect it may be now, but at the time it all seemed to me a perfectly normal part of growing up and learning how to behave.

The “You can go and wash your mouth out with soap” was used as a threat for saying ‘dirty’ words, but I never had it carried out on me, and I don’t know anyone who did. Neither of my parents never swore in front of me, and even as an adult, I never used bad language within their earshot.

It makes me so angry to think a “mother” would put soap in their child’s mouth because they said something naughty. I think if that happened me as a child I would seriously hold it against my mother even as an adult.

Joan..maybe it’s just my own experience (or rather my experience with friends children, as I don’t have kids). But I see so many children who are completely disruptive and do not listen to their parents. They are brats in the extreme. Their parents don’t believe in spanking. Not that we’ve had long parenting discussions..but if they see a parent swat the hand of a child misbehaving in a grocery store..they are very bothered by it. But then, clearly whatever their method of child rearing is, it hasn’t worked in keeping children obedient.

Two weeks later my ex caught our son playing with matches and surprised the kid with holding his hand above a lit lighter as punishment. It was about that time that the therapist realized what a nut job my ex is.

No matter which side of the fence you fall on, corporal or non-corporal, be careful.

Maybe not for you as an adult, Carmen, because you can defend yourself, rationalise what is going on and tell whoever is doing it to ‘fuck off’ but for a child this would be an extremely traumatising experience that would have a detrimental effect on their bond with the parent/carer who did it. And if that’s the best way you think a child should be disciplined you really shouldn’t have kids.

Shannon – I was spanked as a child if I was very bold, until I was around Ari’s age I guess. After that my mother would just lift the wooden spoon out of the cutlery drawer and I would toe the line – although she would never hit me with it!

But spanking never did me any harm. It was rare and probably warranted, and if I had kids I would spank them when absolutely necessary. But i’m not a parent so not best qualified to speak on this subject :)

If you put the pieces together over what has been witnessed by others, said directly by the perpetrator and been told by the child… yes, it’s abuse and yes, it’s sadistic. Anyone that finds, even momentary gratification and enjoyment through physically harming and humiliating their child is.

I’m stating my own personal views as are others, you’re free to disagree but you should probably weigh first, whats gone on over several years.

I also think that locking your child in a bathroom for the night to be abusive, tho you have the right to disagree.